AB-Ootlander – The Way Out of The Gathering A Canadian Combo Pack.

You know, I am not sure if I mentioned this or not yet but Canadians get Outlander 2 wks later than our US counterparts. There is this super tiny border like thing separating us, yet…2 wks is our penance.

I know that makes reading these BlogChunks seem behind the times but hey, we are relaxed up here. Takin things slow. It’s how we coast to coast.

I thought I would combine the 2 episodes of The Way Out & The Gathering. The idea is Claire wants to find her way back to the stones…to get back home to Frankie baby. These 2 episodes have this as the back drop with other stuff shaggin in the back ground. So…why not mate them?

Again, we could get to the good stuff if you just read the books lady…but yes, I understand. back story. Episode 3 opened with Frank sending Claire off to war with her bags packed.

Huge truck balls this one.

We have lots of reasons we love Claire. Her huge Alberta truck balls are just one of them.

For the record, I’m not talking about the part where Claire imagines she tells Mrs. Fitz she is a time traveler because I damn near had a heart attack. Even though I KNEW it had to be a dream sequence. You still don’t want to have to unsee some things. Now, I have to unsee Claire getting bitch slapped by sweet old Mrs. Fitz. So, I am NOT talking about that.

Fellow Heughliot Admin Tammy…she SO funny!

Fast Forward on the Betamax (yeah we still have those, just got the electric up here dontchaknow) to Claire settling into castle life & being the town drunk. Ummmmm healer. Yeah.

BAH! WoodLice! Like a handfull of silver fish. *GAG*

BAH! WoodLice! Like a handfull of silver fish. *GAG*

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We go through the story with lots of people crossing themselves talking about superstitious stuff. Exorcisms. Demons.

Everyone now…one the count of 3

That should do it. Demons be GONE!

We get graced with seeing a Highlanders ass….however…it was Twisty Cones. NOT the ass I was hoping to see but as my mother used to say “Beggars can’t be choosers”.  It looked mighty smooth mind you…so I had a closer look – it had man hair on it. That made me feel better. I’m not sure exactly why but a man with a hair free arse gives me pause.

Claire gave Colum a good rub down, which helped him out because he was in a foul mood and pretty much made his tailor piss himself. Know why? The fool assumed that Twisty Cone would want to cover his Twisty Cone legs….what an idiot.

wth

CHILL man

I am just glad Twisty Cone didn’t ask for a happy ending.

featuring Claire "the Healer"

featuring Claire “the Healer”

That goes under the category of “Things you could have seen in the adaptation so don’t complain about what you get”

Loose Leery was in the following scene but no one really paid any attention to her. It was like a scene from the book jumped into the tv. I LOVE when they do that!

The hall scenes, Claire gets drunk…SHOCKER!  More Jamie and & Claire. Seriously when these two get together the warning that needs to follow is this one

006

Or look forward to Frequent Eye Sex.  These two have crazy chemistry. I really do enjoy Jamie’s subtle look backs at Claire each time they part. The story is from her POV so, she isn’t privy to them, but we are. *sigh* Jaaaaaaaammmiiiiiiiieeeee.

Claire keeps Angus running all over castle creation. She hears about the demons in Mrs. Fitz nephew and knows thats hogwash. Demons don’t exist! Time travel OF COURSE…demons…don’t be silly!

We get to meet the biggest demon…Father Bain.

008dudebain

She has to leave because Bain is trying to drown the boy with splashes of holy water.  Not effective you say? NO DUH!

holy-water

Back to the castle where Claire sees OUR JAMIE making out with loose lips Leery! For real?

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Then another scene from the book springs to life w Claire teasing Jamie at dinner about renting the tramp from the tramptory.

010

BOOM!

Off to the village the next day to visit BatShitCrayCray Geillis. Wearing her blood red shoes and furry backward vest, trying to figure out why Claire seems soooooo familiar. Claire isn’t having any of that…nope! Jamie arrives right in time to take her away.

While all the was going on, we were graced with Farts McGee dealing out pillory penance to young boys for stealing bread. Bread. You get your ear SPIKED into a piece of wood in front of the whole town while creepy Dude Bain pets you like a stray dog.  This is however, where TEAM AWESOME is born!

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I wish I knew where this GIF came from. It was sent to me via email a while ago xo

Together they free the boy, discover what ails Mrs. Fitz nephew, have lots and lots and lots of Eye Sex and Claire is off to save young Thomas’ life! Much to Dude Bains chagrin.

012fitz

Mrs. Fitz kicks his ass OUT so Claire can save the day!

bain

Claire saves the boy and in turn makes herself INVALUABLE at the castle. Everyone wants a piece of her magic eight ball now! She ends the episode getting hammered and listening to Jamie tell bedtime stories about Fairy hills and people traveling through time.

The Gathering is episode 4 and where Canada has been left hanging.  As our American com-padres are getting all in a tissy about The Wedding. We are thinking about Rent. Seems totally fair doesn’t it?

Claire is still 100% certain she is escaping.  That is what this whole episode turns out to be about. It’s full of giggles provided by Rupert n Angus. Rupgus, Angert or Rupang..Nah… They are a comedy team and I love them both.

This episode Diana appears, Ron D. Moore has a quickie. Cameo. Pervs. So does Howie. Howie? You say…yes…Howie, from 21St Century Kilts. The hottie that creates and fits kilts for all sorts of awesome people around the world. He is next to Ron. Awwww…did I just give you another reason to watch the episode again? Such a bummer eh?

Howie the Kilt creator.

Howie the Kilt creator.

Twisty Cone got a make over for the Gathering. Everyone swears they love him, will follow him to the ends of the earth. They all drink the kool-aid from the saucer of bacteria.

vows

shudder

For those who say the alcohol would kill all the narsties…sure, then why not walk around a bar at the end of the night and drink the dregs out of all the shot glasses. Yeah…that.

Diana had a speaking part. Loved it but I loved her Shhhhhhhing part even better.

Murtagh doesn't like women with voices. Shhhh yourself lass.

Murtagh doesn’t like women with voices. Shhhh yourself lass.

So we continue. Seen one “sword kissin koolaid drinking” vow, you seen em all. Claire drugs Angus, sets on the road to freedom! But this is the episode of POP goes the visitor! Geillis, Leery, 3 bandits, Dougal, Jamie…well, to be fair, she totally surprised Jamie, not the other way around.

dirk

Jamie talks sense into Claire with his dirk and even though he was staying safe under the hay in the stables – the always *sigh* Jaaaaaaaamieeeeeee . Claire, stirring up shit without even knowing it but we’ve read the books so we know and damn if they didn’t make more pages jump to life!

je suis

Then he heads into the hall and BOOM! Cut the tension with a dirk! Will he, won’t he?  How many of you caught the subtle tap of the fingers on his thigh? Yeah…me too. Seriously Sam…you are KILLING US!

stitch dead

D.E.A.D. Just – So- D.E.A.D.

Jamie brings down the HOUSE even though Mr. Side Eye Dougal stares him down in the ground. Of course, Jamie drinks ALL the Kool-Aid, that boy is lucky he doesn’t leave with a serious case of mouth herpes between sucking face with loose lips Leery and that…damn.

The next part of the show…is sad. They go hunting, for MR. Pig to you…and well…Mr. Pig might get got…but not before he takes two Highlanders down with him.

hunting

One it’s just a gaping flesh wound…gets him a tongue lashing from Claire…and not the good kind. The next. Geordie. Poor. Poor Geordie.  This scene however, is not about Geordie’s death as much as its about confusing us. You know because Dougal is bipolar. He goes from side eye dirty to sympathetic to hero to dickface to bestfriend crying in the dirt….seriously bragh, pick a personality would you?

jekyllhyde

Claire & Dougal help Geordie pass peaceably. Yeah I cried. What are you gonna do about it? I have a heart…its not a frozen tundra you know.

geordie die

Another scene that throws you right into the pages of your book! AHHHHHH I LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!

So because Dougal can’t be like…normal and grieve for a while. He has to rid himself of the anger issues he has. Personality trait #99 of Episode 4. They come upon a game of what looks to be death Lacrosse/Hockey without the helmets, ice or other stuff that would make it those sports. I can hear Don Cherry now!

don cherryshinty

That is one brutal game.

shinty angus shinty dougal

I still need to form a complaint against whoever lights these scenes…things get so dark when those kilts are whipping about. It makes it really difficult to hold onto my pervcard status.

There Dougal went again. Being all nice and sweet. This guy really needs to release some of his stress somehow…he should visit the Castle Leoch Rub n Tug.

Next up

roadtrip

THAT should be interesting!

SL

Heughliot At Large

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