The Other Outlander “F” word. FRANK.

Yup. In the history of Outlander there has always been discussions about Frank. If we think this is a new topic of conversation because of the way the TV show has presented him.  We are wrong. This is just one discussion that is 6 yrs old . It took place on Karen Henry’s blog, Outlandish Observations, which was started in 2008. See…WAY before the show became a “thing”.

I assure you, these discussions/arguments have been happening since the first book came out. My guess, somewhere in the world on June 2, 1991 the first debate about Frank and his place in Claire’s story took place. Why? Because there is a distinct character there, with a distinct personality. The interesting part is which side people fall on.

Frank is the man who was left behind by Claire’s unintended trip into the past. It’s funny, not “haha” funny but “Hmmmmm, how about that?” funny – that if you love him, you defend him like no one’s business – or you despise him and everything he stands for…oh wait…everything we believe he stands for.

Frankly (heehee), he is one of the most complex characters in the Outlander series. Why in the world would I say that? It’s true. That’s why. In 8 books, we keep getting snippits of his story. We THINK we know it all but that’s not true. Diana still has not fully revealed what unquestionably happened in the 20 yrs Claire spent with Frank.  I don’t think that is because she doesn’t care or it’s not important. I believe it is because there is so much to tell, so much that is laying underneath…Frank is simply one of those Tetris pieces that hasn’t fallen completely into place.  We don’t have to like him to know his importance in the story. Perhaps that is where some of us stumble. “WE” don’t like him so he doesn’t belong.  Seems kinda like my high school years allllll over again. OMG…I’m FRANK!

I hope we can see how short sighted that mindset is in the grand scheme of Diana’s tomes. Everyone, whether we like their character or not, has their place in the story she has written. We might think Mr. Willoughby served no purpose but the truth is, he did. In Diana’s story…and lets be frank (snort), it is HER story.  We digest it the way our brain see’s fit, not necessarily as it was written.  Its like broccoli, some people devour it and love everything about it and some get indigestion and end up super gassy.

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The “F” word has been popping up again because of this picture in this article.

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Lots of people took it as a personal nose rubbing because Frank isn’t that big of a deal to them, they don’t personally care for him or they believe he needs to hurry up and die already. Lots of people LOVED the photo, saw it showed what life would be like for Claire & Frank in the future, validated their feelings that Frank’s a good guy. An important good guy.

Neither of these view points are wrong.  Why?  Because people are people and they feel how they feel.  The trouble is when we get to the point where we believe only our view has merit.  Only our view is “right” and our need to express it in ways that are pointless to the grand scheme of things.  Examples of pointless expressions might be : anger, telling people how to do their job, spitefulness or passive aggressiveness. One of my favourite sayings is…You can say what you mean – without being mean.  We can also do that without trying to make others adhere to our beliefs.

Outlander (the show) has a story to tell. The writers, producers and directors want to make the best show possible in their eyes. That is where the crux of it all is. Their eyes.  What is the thing about eyes folks?  They are all unique.  They all see things differently.  Those who want to bask in the things they see…will.  Those who want to contradict the same visions, won’t stop because someone says “You are wrong.”  If it were the “fans” that created the show it would say in the credits SHOWRUNNER – Fans, but it doesn’t. It says Ronald D. Moore.   Whether you believe that’s good or bad, it’s his to run the show.

I have no issues at all with those who use critical thinking to express their thoughts.  I have no issues with rose coloured glasses and those who choose to love everything.  My view is simply to be kind to one another while expressing your differences and maybe, just maybe allow each person their view.

Frank isn’t the bad guy. He isn’t the hero. He’s an intricate part of a story about a woman who is torn between times. The story, whether we believe it needs to be told or not, is the story.  Perhaps sitting back and experiencing the ride is the solution.  Like a roller coaster, some are going to love it…some are gonna wanna puke when it’s over. Either way…it is the experience that creates the outcome.

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Hold on everyone, buckle your seat belts. If I know anything about this fandom, and I think I do…it’s gonna be a helluva ride!

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Side note- I don’t think anyone can deny…Tobias Menzies…is super awesome, pretty good looking and well – brought Frank to life. Whether you like that particular life or not – is up to you.

SherryLynn

Founder of the ABOotlanders

 

Outlander Episode 3 – Heartstones , amiright?

Still taking a detour from the blog bursts that look like recaps.  I feel there are enough ppl doing those now that, well, even doing it Canadian style with bacon isn’t different enough.

Episode 3 of Outlander was full of…Oooooh’s , awwwww’s & Snorts so I finger I will just talk about those with you.  Heartstones is something us ABOotlanders are not short of.  We are a bunch of sulks (I say that because I am…and I do not like being lonely).

Heart STONES are those things in your heart that when they are hit, they send you back in time, memories.  I believe that is why we are so connected to Outlander.  It isn’t just our own created memories but those Diana Gabaldon authored when we read the books for the first time.  How many times have we seen comments telling new readers how jealous we are because they get to experience that first time feeling?  Its a nostalgia we connect to from remembering our “first time”.  It really is a better “first time” than the other first time… that’s rarely enjoyable.

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Aaaaanyway.  That’s how I now feel when I watch the show. It’s like a new read.  I recognize it, it’s familiar…yet it is different so I get a new thrill from it.  It’s not about if I like the changes, only that they exist and create new heart stones for me and my friends to travel through together.

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Heartstones being created

The name of the episode is “Useful Occupations & Deceptions”.  We don’t have to reach to far to guess what this is all about so lets get right to it.

OOOOOH’s , AAAAAW’s N Snort’s of Episode 3… Our HeartStones…

Aaaaaw #1 -This came when Claire shoved Jamie’s wigman away so she could do up his vest instead.  I mean, that was a “Why are YOU doing this, I am sitting right here.” jealous wife move and I loved it.  You can’t blame a girl…husband out at brothels- oh wait…one brothel (but remember, its fancy…it’s got dildos), drinking his face off with the guys, coming in reeking of smoke n whores.  Yep, I would probably feel the need to exert ownership. You can tell the scheme of these moves is to show…she misses him.

Snort #1– The first laugh of the show for me was Jamie’s wee SAWNY going missing.  So what you are saying Jamie is…lostsnake

This could just be because my brain has a disorder. Its called ‘inthegutteria’. It’s catching. You might have it now. If not, you may not find me near as entertaining as I do.

Snort #2– Louise. Sweet Louise! She MADE the interaction with Mary & Claire go to another level of giggles.  Her SHOCK at the accusations Mary made about men and their things…was…snortworthy.1cohno

Ooooooh #1 – Claire realizing who the truck Mary Hawkins was! 1emaryhawkins

For our Frank lovers…they got another peekaboo at him and Claire finally put the puzzle of where she had heard the name before!  You could see she wasn’t particularly thrilled.  I heard a few people say “She didn’t seem to care when BJR was dead so Frank was before…but now she is all worried about him?!”  Let’s look at it this way – When Claire found out that BJR was dead, she was in the midst of taking care of Jamie, making sure he didn’t die.  Once she did that…it’s kinda late to be thinking about saving Frank.  Pragmatic is one way I would describe Claire, I can’t see her dwelling on something she knew she couldn’t change. HOWEVER, once there is something she thinks she can fix or change…ummm…dog with bone sound about right to us?

Oooh, Awww N Snort – 3 for the price of oneMurtagh getting some lovin! #Suzagh! Sounds like a great clan call…for tail.  There was a couple of things about Claire walking in on her ladies maid, Suzette (zee lov-a-lee Adrienne-Marie Zitt)  and her husbands Dudley do right-hand man.  1…Claires expression of shock. Now, was it shock that she caught them doin’ it? Was it shock that Murtagh was getting more action than her? Was it shock that Murtagh could be ungrumbly long enough for a woman to want to get jiggy with him?  I think it could have been any or all of those reasons.  2. The fact that she hasn’t got lucky in so long she didn’t recognize the sounds of two people gettin jiggy w’it.

The surprise coupling of the 2 characters gives Murtagh a lil more zip & brings the staff in the house to “human” mode., not just following picking up after everyone.  #Suzagh all the way!

Oooh #2 SNAP!  Claire done looses it on Murtagh because he reminded her that she isn’t getting any.  That face…says it all.snappy

After her poop ungroups, she tells him that BJR is alive & the deception duo is born.  For now – by the end of the show Murtagh has his kilt in a wad because she didn’t tell him.

Snort #4–  That Duverney dude is funny. Not just his wig either.  Telling Jamie while playing chest he was going “get him” and that he gave him permission to respect him less.  See in my world, those are are things I would say to Jamie too…maybe not playing chess…but playing- chest? See…I find things entertaining because I make them up in my head sometimes.

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He has this way of wrapping scenes around his fingers…and getting wanna be Kings to kiss his fingers.  Knowing this guy, I sure as heck would NOT be putting my mouth around his digits…I see where he goes with those!

Oooh #4The Comte.  That is all. I need not say more.

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I mean. Really. The Comte St.GermayIhavesomemore?

Awww #2– Master Raymond plays Ann Landers. Claire doesn’t really ask for advice but Raymond gives it.  Stop pouting about being bored lady and go do what you like doing. Lancing boils & sticking your fingers in puss n guts! Its nice to see someone looking out for her isn’t it?tumblr_mdvrqbfyca1ruaozy2

Snort #5 is a loooong giggle. “Claire goes to the Hospital”.  We could write a childrens book about this you know.  The look on Mother Hildegardes face when this “lady” came and said she wanted to use her medical knowledge and help. “Ummm, go dump a bedpan ‘lady’. See you never.”  Claire doubles up the back bone and not only empties bed pans but starts drinking them. That will show her!

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Ok…she wasn’t drinking out of the bedpans…but she was taste testing them.  Which baboom…makes Momma Hilde take notice and decide “Hmmmm, if she likes urine, she’s gonna love it here…let’s keep her.”  And BOUTON! Well…yeah…somehow we all have fallen in love with the little hairball. It sure helps when you remember loving Bouton of the books. Its not about the dog they got so much as it is about that they got a Bouton!

The scene with the nasty puss filled groin splinter (ummm branch not splinter) was spot on. Freaking LOVED the moment Bouton showed his talents & at the same time helped Claire get in good with the big nun on campus.

Awww #4– #WeeFergus .  Like we didn’t get to meet enough awesomeness in this episode but then we get the lil bandit too. It was a smorgasbord of characters being brought to life. I had the constant “awwww head tippy” going on the whole fricken episode.

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All these feels in the awww spot

I loved the introduction to Jamie…something we only got a  quick description in the book about how the wee gommrel came to be in their world.  This gave it the character development that the TV character deserved to have.

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’tis a delight to meet you!

I loved how he called Jamie dirty names and tried to blackmail him and Jamie’s reaction…I wanted to squeeze both their cheeks! Throughout the episode Fergus (played by Romann Berrux) displays the all the charm of a small gentleman while being the brothelbabe he was.  “Hey, girls love it when I sing the praises of their corset fillers.”  It’s not hard to tell that like Fergus from the book – TV Fergus is going to have us all wrapped around his bitty doigt.

The best move Jamie had this episode? Hiring a pickpocket.

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You did the right thing…for interesting reasons.

Awwww #5 – This awww is more of a “Awwww muffin!” awwww than an “Awwww so cute”  awww though.  Jamie was having a party and we were invited.  It was a pity party. Now why oh why wasn’t his wife home to greet him? Pout, sulk, grumble grumble and snark. Once folks showed up for his party he lashed out on them.  Jamie is kinda a bad event planner in that respect.  We came away with it being all about Jamie – if he is going to be a miserable sulk, then why shouldn’t he share that?  Because it sucks Jamie…it sucks.

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Pity Parties are not as fun alone

We know why you’re a pouty pants, but we aren’t enjoying it.  You need a lil lovin…that will fix everything. As long as it is with your wife…those brothelbabes…not so much.

Snort #6–  You know Jamie was going to have to swallow his pride at some point. Watching him do it with Mama Hildegard was a good move. Her being a musical savant and all that.  Her view of her friend Bach was less than flattering though wasn’t it? Clever but no heart. Without him, they wouldn’t have figured out the code to the letters Fergus our boy was stealing though!

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WhooHoo…so clever

All the emotions of episode 3 and we wrap it all up in a happy little ball of “relief, happiness, guilt & disappointment. Relief because they believe they figured out who was promising BPC money for this campaign. Happiness because Jamie was happy for a moment. Guilt by Claire because she STILL hasn’t told Jamie BJR is alive. Disappointment in Claire by Murtagh because she didn’t tell Jamie BJR is alive.

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Perfect way to  tie that bow up and be ready for Episode 4.

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Outlander Blurbs n stuff about “In the glass, whisky”

I’m BAAAACK!  With the blob blurbs I like to ummm…blurt.  Outlander made its way back to our TV screens on April 10th in care of Showcase only one day after airing in the US.

I wonder whoooo helped them with that decision?

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We are super stoked to have had Showcase jump on the #OutlanderCAN hashtag we created when starting our LiveTweet events. Seriously, we make Sunday nights FUNDAY nights…If this doesn’t prove we are some curds of cheese short of a poutine…I don’t know what does.

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Passionate is just another word for NUTS

Onto to *drumroll pls* Episdode 1 Season 2 AKA Episode 201 if your fancy!

“Previously, on Outlander” Really? Like most of us don’t have this burned into our minds eye.  That tends to happen when you re-watch something…repeatedly…

I very much enjoy the “warning” of language, nudity & sexual situations.  Warning or a list of bonuses?  Yes, I agree…the latter prevails!

If the title of the episode made ya go hmmmmm??? Here is what “Through the glass, darkly” means…To see “through a glass”a mirror“darkly” is to have an obscure or imperfect vision of reality. The expression comes from the writings of the Apostle Paul; he explains that we do not now see clearly, but at the end of time, we will do so.  Just knowing that makes some puzzle pieces slide into place. I think I am in love with that quote now…because it feeds into my everything for a reason theory of life and not really every finding out why…till the end of time for most of those reasons.

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Cait was the glue that held this whole piece together in my green eyes. (They are green and that’s good because I am jealous of this woman…not the scratch her eyes out jealous but ERMERGED I wish I could be her jealous!)

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Probably a little of both…

We start…dramatically. “I wished I were dead.”  Claire is back at the stones…not confused and hyperventilating but broken. Completely and utterly B.R.O.K.E.N.  She has lost something…a ring…*there it is*…with no stone. This means A LOT but no one knows what.Save those who know it all .

It wasn’t a yellow brick road she was trudging her way down, but the same eerie road she left her car on 2 yrs prior.

I loved the look on her face when the car honked its honk… *BEEP BEEP*.

If there was a voice over, this is what it would have said, “If I turn around and see a car…that means I’m where I know I am and I don’t wanna be”

Just don’t turn around! I understand how this particular option wouldn’t have helped the situation.

Poor bugger who happened to be in that car nearly got his vest wrapped around his neck for stuttering & fumbling when Claire asked him a direct question. Culloden…who won?A  question with a heart breaking answer.  Somewhere she hoped all she had sacrificed would be worth leaving Jamie for…but….nope. Sorry. Totally not worth it…and now what?  AH yes, Claire does what any self respecting time traveller who left her heart 200 years in the past does. Cries like an Outlander fan during the last episode of the season. RIGHT!? Tragic.

It truly was painful to watch her- the emotional pain was a physical one.  I felt like I was kicked in the tender bits!

Caitriona thought it fair to suck us into that emotional crushing experience.

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Well played Caitriona. Well played.

We would be doing a disservice not mentioning the new Title song…not new but reimagined. It was entertaining to be in a room of 13 women who knew the original for the series…get to the point where the french started…and it trailed off into “Wtf’s?” “Is that.. french?” “That’s cool!”…being Canadian, recognizing french but not really knowing it is one of those things…in Alberta anyway.  Bear McCreary was able to make what was old new…again.

We have wee Roger on the title page…and his knees…and his plane…this makes me a bit uncomfortable as I know how women have been lusting over big Roger (ok…Big Roger is worth a giggle) to be portrayed by Richard Rakin, a pretty comely laddie himself.  Breaking up the 2…who are “supposed” to be the same person might bring me some anxiety. Might.

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I heard rumblings  sounding like “That little boy hasn’t aged since last season.”  Seriously the kid is in the show for less that 2 minutes both seasons and you wanted them to recast someone that could have been him 2 yrs later…Logic folks…it comes at a price.

Next up, Frank.

We have friends of Frank, we have Frank sux clubs…Frank…no matter what you think of the book Frank or the show Frank…you have to be open enough to admit Tobias Menzies absolutely slays in the dual role!

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Oh. Why yes, I am remarkable!

I have a theory that I stand behind pretty firmly when it comes to “show” Frank.  Ron D. Moore has a soft spot for Frank, he has empathy and compassion for Frank and wants others to understand that empathy & compassion. The only vehicle he has to make that a reality is….more Frank on TV.

Just so you know, the more people bitch & complain about it, the more he will be laughing  and doing it more.boy-would-i

Book Frank. In my humble opinion isn’t as fleshed out because Diana wanted people to draw from their experiences to develop a sense of him- I believe she wanted Frank to remain…a mystery in some respects.  Allow YOU to form conclusions with only part of the information so later on…she could knock you right in the kisser with some back story. If you haven’t noticed by now…Diana tends to be the smartest person involved in her stories.

TV Frank. In the TV show…we are getting the back story.  Largely from the man who empathizes with the character and doesn’t think he is a POS. Ron.  Why in the world would a man empathize with a man, who is deeply in love with his wife and loses her to another man? Hmmmm…I think you see what I am getting at here?  I am not saying he has experienced this situation himself…what I am saying is he knows how he would feel if he was in that situation.  So he brings that to our screens.  He absolutely did showing all the faces of Frank.  Tobias has range…he truly shines when he is digging deeper to the place of no return. That dark place. Ron understands using Tobias to bring the friends of Frank to the forefront is not a foolish idea. Ummmmm….F’s….so many F’s totally not being used like I generally do. Interesting.fqdjsu0

There is paparazzi back in the 40’s…I bet they have been around since cameras became public domain. People have always trying profit off of others pain. This isn’t a new thing surely however…in 2016…much more intrusive than when they had to carry around 30 lb cameras.

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As someone who has taken statement analysis through the years, Franks shaking his head saying “I could not be more grateful”…means he really could be.  That can be construed a few way to be duplicitous.  I am pretty sure it was just him acting though.

Claire was harsh with Frank…but you can’t really blame her. She just left the love of her life being faced with her first love…but will never love him like that or like Jamie again. Yeah…harsh is exactly what someone might expect.

Thankfully Frank has given Claire a safe haven.  The Reverend’s home. She really only cares that Mrs.Graham is there so she can talk to her. Mainly cuz Mrs. Graham is a believer in all things cray cray.  It’s better in pairs, believe me.

Random question…Do you think that this is what Frank thought when he was smelling her clothes? Maybe.

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Claire changes rolls with Frank and is pouring over the books about the Jacobites and sharing Jamie with Mrs. Graham.  The grief on Claire’s face is almost something you can reach out and touch.  I love that Mrs. Graham allows her to have him but gently tugs her into the here and now.

So much sadness happening *sigh*

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A week in Claire decides it’s time to tell him the whole sorted story.  You all know what it was…here is a fast forward to the stages Frank went through.5faces

I don’t believe Frank buys it 100% but, he is has words to live up to. Then…BOMBSHELL.  She is preggers! The looks…incredible crazy emotion on his face!  Dun…dun…dun! Under the door squeaks some Black Jack …under the back door.  giphy

There was Frank, with his fist clenched, spittle starting…and a tear. I am sure Claire is seeing BJ…and hoping beyond hope that he will just snap and she won’t have to deal with facing him…but nope…he staggers out like an angry drunk and beats the crap out of the Rev’s junk drawer. Which happens to be a shed of some sort. Probably the worst thing a guest can do.  Oh…no peeing in a closet. That’s worse.

The Rev is a pretty forgiving character…I suppose that is why he is a reverend eh?  He forgives Frank for taking out his shed…forgives Frank for dropping the F bomb in the presence of Wee Roger (though many of us know Roger’s life becomes one F bomb after the other..might as well start him early). Frank telling him to takes God’s plan…and…not.

Frank divulges to the Rev that his wee Franks will never produce baby sausages to show off to the world…so this plays with his head and heart.image

Rev explains to him “Everything for a reason”  and lays it out pretty clean for him…can you commit to this woman and her unborn child?

After some thought Frank says SURE! BUT…there is always a but…Claire has to agree to his conditions.  Pretty much, shut all the love you have in your heart out and let me in.  Claire, I think was so desperate for some type of direction, she grabbed on.

Letting Jamie go…sorry Claire.  I just can’t do it, so I am more than willing to say…neither can you! No matter what Frank burns, that love goes nowhere but deeper.

2 things that made me go “Hmmmm”.  Frank burned her invaluable 18th century clothing.  I get it…it still baffled me!  Claire making the motion to remove her ring from the wedding to Jamie. Even if Frank didn’t stop her, I don’t think she would have taken it off…much like the missing stone ring. That’s not going anywhere either, it’s in her suitcase…she will be keeping it. Nothing happens on this show without good reason.  Like the blue coat re-emerging. How cool was that? I have a feeling this season will be full of visual goodies. (Besides Sam’s backside)

The transition. Can we squee about this transition. In unison.giphy1

My heart SOARED with joy when the transition took place.  Franks hand, to Jamies hand…the present into the past…or is it the past into the past-ier? More Hmmmmm thoughts.

It is so bittersweet isn’t it?  You are back with Jamie and Claire but you know…it’s all going to end with what we transitioned from.  It is a never ending cycle of tears!

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They are in Paris…together…so sweet.  Then Murtagh gets a whiff of the place.  He isn’t what we would call-a fan.

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Smells like frogs…tastes like poulet!

 

Our story takes the spin back to what Claire & Jamie were talking about before they reached Paris.  Stopping the Jacobite rebellion, not winning it but stopping it. We are looking at danger, intrigue, treachery and violence. A little something for everyone!

Super convenient…enter Cuz’n Jared. Fancy scot living in France with his wine business.  Jamie and Claire convince Jared that Jamie wants to be a solid Jacobite *cough* liar* cough*. Naturally the PERFECT solution is right there. Jared wants Jamie to take over the wine business temporarily and get into society that way. He has been wanting to go to the Indes anyway…what great timing. At least one thing went in their favour!

I always thought that Murtagh in the books knew exactly what was going on.  I know he is loyal to a fault, however, the truth is…that;s a whole lotta faith to put into people if you have NO CLUE wtf is going on.  I always assumed it was a conversation that happened at the abby, when Jamie told him to bring her back to the Lallybroch (the Stones in the book).  Murtagh is just someone who doesn’t talk about stuff much so…it made sense in my brain. Then again…pop rocks makes sense in my brain too…so…take it how you will.

I want to steer WAY off track.  Duncan Lacroix has become my favourite supporting character in the show.  I loved him in the books as well.  I also loved another Character in the books. Duncan Innes. Now…call me crazy but I would love to see these two characters melt into one.  For those who haven’t read the books, I’m not going to ruin anything but for those who have…I think you know what I am talking about. There I said it.

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I won’t really shoot anyone, I’m Canadi

Now, we can never have an episode of Outlander that Claire doesn’t do or say something to piss someone off.  She generally focuses this good work on people who end up wanting her to die.  She really ought to shake that profile…

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She sees some sort of kerfuffle brewing and thinks “I MUST be in the middle of THAT! It looks exciting!” and she goes.

Every. Single. Time.

This time smallpox on the dox. Terrible wasteful disease that SHE can’t catch…cuz she…is a witch. Or so the story has been told. She shouts it out on high that smallpox came off the ship, we gotta do something. However, everyone seems like they just want her to shut her healer hole.

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Especially the very handsome and mean Comte. St. Germain.  I mean really, men shouldn’t be allowed to look like that…and in a wig! Seriously…something things just aren’t fair to us mortals.

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He warns Claire…and Jamie that he is NOT impressed.  She cost him the cargo on and the ship itself.  Claire…not to be stepped on pipes up with its better you lose that then the disease spread over the whole city.  I believe he really could give a nuns nipple about the people in the city.  He wants his monies!  Threats happen. He calls Claire some pretty nasty stuff but it’s in french so if you don’t read the subtitles you can lost in his death stare.

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Yep…his ship burns.Jamie and Claire look out at the flames on the water, so romantic. As per usual,they start making out.  No time like the present…in front of the dude watching his ship burn to the…ummm…water.

STAY TUNED to Showcase for previews of the next episode!

I’m so ready for ALL the episodes…I want to devour them. Bring it on Showcase…Your Canadian fans are READY!

All of our #Outlander friends are welcome to join our Live Tweets along with the episode, Sunday nights. #OutlanderCAN is the hashtag. See you there!

 

SherryLynn

Founder of the ABOotlanders

 

 

Episode 16 In the Flesh -TRAMS- Tobias Really Ain’t Maiming Sam…really.

Who else is glad that is over? Raise your hand!

Me...me...me too...uh-huh...yup...us!

Me…me…me too…uh-huh…yup…us!

As much as we are not looking forward to #NaughtLander – I was perfectly fine with Episode 16 “To Ransom a Mans Soul” being one hour long, because the one hour felt like WAY longer. It made me feel like a virgin. You know what I mean. It was verra uncomfortable indeed.

“Got my tight pants on!”….Yeah…this is not comfortable for anyone. Really.

As per usual before I get into my blogburst, I like to tap into what I see as a bit o’ silliness that plagues the fandom. I found out recently that the likes of myself – you know the type. We, who enjoy the show for the show & the books for the books. Separately.  We, that do not believe the 2 should be compared nor interwoven specimens…because they are, ummm…not the same things. We are called *drumroll please* Kool-Aid Drinkers. Heehee…Kool-aid. Yeah.  Which makes this even funnier to me is –  those who who use this term may often be offended or dissuade others from using descriptions such as “pearl clutcher”, “poutlander” & any number of other equally insulting terms that will offend someone.  This term is deemed O.K. to use  even though it has a particularly ugly meaning behind it, because it was given its blessing from groups who feel everyone’s opinions matter, except those who think that it’s ok to love something for what it is and those  who express that they don’t believe being negative is a productive way to be & choose to say so. Kool-aid. Wanna sip? Tsk Tsk.

 I don’t particularly “like” Kool-aid but I DO think the Kool-aid man is cool as hell!  I also think if you embrace a term & own it, you take the power away others have given it. Soooooooooooooooo…

koolaid

This is the kinda kool-aid we are serving…come and have a glass! It happens to be sweetened with good intentions.  There is kindness instilled in it.  We only want the fans to see the best in what is happening with the series. It is, in fact separate from the books…this has been said from the VERY beginning. Whether you CHOOSE to hear the facts – well, this only affects our happiness with the process. No one has tried to fool or trick us into believing anything different.  When you lay back and relax…the bumps are way easier to take, you might even be able to enjoy them.

animals-as-humans-frog

We have fallen into the land of #WithoutLander.

#DroughtLander2.0 has started… there is #NaughtLander. As you can see – I can go on all effing day if I wanted to & I likely will come up with many many more before the jig is up in the fall of 2016.  Chances are, you will put up with my crap because, as fans, it is what we do.  We read what we love…AND we read what we hate. It is a CRAZY…oh wait…mentally hilarious phenomenon.  That WILL keep this world alive. Not destroy it like some say.

These blogbursts won’t stop because the series is on hiatus.  Honestly…I will just have to get more creative.

This might be the point you are afraid...

This might be the point – you become… afraid…

and you thought BJR was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Me…trying to be creative. That might be a whole other bag of nuts folks. Mixed nuts. Big…ole…bag.

You know I am trying to avoid talking about something when I am 500 words in & haven’t started.  This is like having the sex talk with the sons but start talking about how they haven’t cleaned their room in the last week instead. Still ending up focusing on the balled up sock in the corner of the room. Yeah…yeah…yeah…I KNOW. I have to talk about it – but where’s their Dad…Can’t HE?

That’s a good idea actually. Hub’s watched episode 16 with me. Twice. Shockingly. We’ll go at it like that. Since you know I’m a gutterdweller – I shall sit down here but try not to be you know…too gross and or offensive. However, expect a few groans. Just…do.

We get the title credit again. Yeah…gutterslug I am…beads n oil. I know what is happening in this episode – I don’t even wanna know what that other thing is gonna be . Yup…I know I am going to hell – I might as well take the express bus. Move over- I know you are in the back seat, hiding…you wouldn’t be reading this blogburst if you weren’t there.

title

Then…then…drums, flutes, what sounds like recorders. Remember recorders guys? Elementary school…we all had to have recorders? Play 3 blind mice? We were so cool.

*eyeroll* Just like him. Really. 3 blind mice with the squeal at the end killed his Pirates of the Caribbean out of the water. Whatever.

Uh-huh...sure...show off.

Uh-huh…sure…show off.

Those english dudes at the prison, they were pretty in tune but the men at arms, my ex-Army hubby really wanted them to be more practiced. Sloppy, out of line…tsk tsk…just foolin’

I kinda wished we had more time to critique the english soldiers because yeah…we went right on into the deep dark dank dungeon cell of hell and torment which housed our hero Jamie. We immediately get a glimpse at his bloodied body & lifeless eyes. It causes some serious cognitive dissonance when you have that cheery drumming and recorder playing happening in the background & you have Jamie’s face – telling you this story. Then we pan…ugh…

Here's JACKIE!

Here’s JACKIE!

Never a reassuring thing.

Captain CreepMaster General is so supine it’s almost distracts you from the fact that he is completely naked AGAIN. Tobias has zero issues with his Aunt Gail seeing him in the all together. You know, I think he might think to himself “Hope Aunty Gail tunes in! That’d teach her for buying me that hideous sweater back in ’85”

Back to the soldiers & cheery loud tunes – I feel like I am being torn back n forth. Put me outta my misery!

just too much & we just started. This aint right.

just too much & we just started. This aint right.

Wait…was that me or Jamie asking. It was both of us.  CCMG owes him a debt & for a moment, it looks like he is going to pay up but SQUIRREL! Ole Captain hears a noise and curiosity done squishes the cat.

Much to Jamie’s horror. He leaves him in the cell to go check out what’s shaking in the halls. There is some crazy noises happening & he is far too nosey for his own good.

knock knockAnother one of those teachable moments right there. You hear noises you can’t explain. Might be best NOT to look. Dumbass. However, I liked seeing your face get stepped on, I didn’t literally see it, though I imagined it because I despise CCMG and that to me, happy thoughts!

Rupert, Angus & Murtagh…Team RAM (TRAM…Do we see a theme…cool huh?!) Scramble through the basement of the prison looking for Jamie & find him as the kine cause havoc in the halls & throughout the courtyard.  The music via Bear McCreary & the kine seriously did a wicked job of kicking the scene up a knotch here. The kine do NOT have a twitter account…I really am not sure what is going on, seems the crazy is slipping…sad.  Anywhoo…Team RAM played this scene with vigor!  I loved the determination to get Jamie out of there and it was clear to us how OUT OF IT Jamie was.

Seriously, Murtagh is like the scottish Apollo in that moment, Jamie wrapped in the plaid slung over his shoulder & him marching out the door like a boss!

so hot

I loved the wagon ride & escape. The chaos of that was happening at the prison with interchanges of Team RAM escaping with Jamie. Claire waiting in the road…ummmm…hunny…unpause it. Hunny…HUNNY! Sheesh. I think my husband really likes it when Claire wears breeches. Both times we watched, I got a view of this –

cait

Yup, gotta admit it. She’s got a cute bum. The joys of watching with the man of the house – equal opportunity in the admiration department.

Between her distress & impatience, the look on her face…no words are needed.  This woman sucks us straight into her anxiety. I was THISCLOSE to popping an ativan when we spotted Team RAM coming over the crest of the hill.  This was the episode that was like a Led Zeppelin song, a minute seems like a lifetime and you are having Tea for One. I’d look at the clock thinking it has to be almost over…and ummmm…no…52 more minutes left.

what year is it

We get a taste of the mashed potatoes that Jamie’s brains have been whipped into when he see’s Claire AS Black Jack…right there in his face. He wraps his good hand around her sweet delicate neck and squeezes  until Rupert & Murtagh get him off of her. He tells Claire “Dinna touch me”  – One more huge clue – this is not the Jamie we know. His mind has been sliced and diced like it’s been in a chop-o-matic.

He starts in on the Gaelic saying stuff like “Claire- you just morphed into Jackface! That’s wiggin me out!” (Really he said…Let me go die.) Murtagh was like “Hey Bro! Cut that shit out! She has a pretty neck…even if you don’t like it…we do!”  Jamie gets all snippy with him too. You gotta admit, he is probably pretty hangry about now and could use a snickers bar like nobodies business & snaps -in Gaelic- at Murtagh to mind his own damn business clag-tail face! (Really, he said something like “Put an end to my torment!” Which sounds way more logical however- clag-tail face- takes the edge off & sends you all on a google search so…) Murtagh’s had enough of this crap and tells him to shut the hell up, he’s not listening to this crap- they have places to go…people to do. (In fact, he said ” I won’t listen to this!”) Yeah…I was right-ish.

mwb

Back on the run they go with a wee but of chuffin’ from Rupert. That wagon ride must have been hellabouncey!

Same ride in today's vehicle...looks like a party

Same ride in today’s vehicle…looks like a party

We hear the bells of a church yard. We see a familiar face, it’s wee Willie. Good to see him again. He introduces us to Father Anselm. This is a character from the books, that has been adapted for the screen in such a lovely manner. As has the Abbey itself. It really doesn’t matter when it is all broken down.

Truth is they had to condense a ridiculous amount of the book into one hour & the adaptation isn’t really meant to please each book reader it is meant to convey a story to an audience – TRUTH-

Really hard to swallow innit?

Really hard to swallow innit?

Adaptations were made that didn’t  change plot lines but changed “things”. Brother to Father…not in the creepy way though. Anselm was a dream – reacting before she finished sentences & taking them in.

Brother Paul, the respect & dignity he showed Claire – the care he gave Jamie…I quite liked the bald headed lil monks they had poking about. The background players were extremely complimentary to the scenes.  Letting Claire know…dude’s body is in baaaaaad shape sister but his mind… a few french fries short of a happy meal & is gonna need some serious help.  Claire seems to know this but had more pressing matters at hand.

See what I did there?

Jamie’s moans & cries brought her back to the fact that maybe she did need to deal with this broken soul thing. She tries to talk to him, soothe him but nope…none of that. Sometimes we ask questions that we REALLY do not want the answers to but need them. This is what happens here…although Claire didn’t get her answer – WE did.  It was Flashbang #1. Everyone were calling them flashbacks…that’s too light of a word for me. These were far too traumatic & gutpunchy. FlashBANG…much more effective.

Yes I know this

Yes I know this “technically” is not a flashbang but I really love this gif…*snort*

Plus…this next part is icky and we have to talk about it.

We have the leisure of seeing good ole dead Marley. All covered in  *shudder* rats *shudder*.  Those narsty vermin are my kryptonite. Sorry..not sorry…I can not STAND effin rats…rodents..little tails swishing

barf

Too much narsty in one small vile thing….just….ewwww.

Digression. Yeah. Sorry. Jamie is still sitting, nailed to the table where Captain Creepy last left him – he is nearly passed out from pain it seems but has the presence of mind to make sure Claire has left the prison.  This just proves how twisted Captain Creepy is. He is so pleasant with Jamie. ” I give you my word, here, have a drink…let me make you more comfortable while I yank that bloody nail from your hand – it’s going to be a trifle uncomfy. Be over quick…just a pinch. Oh dear…you’ve puked all over the floor…that’s all right, I will cradle you gently in my arms like a young child and kiss you tenderly like a sweetheart I once had.. Know why? ‘Cause I am a nice guy. You can see that right? Nice guy…dingy nasty cell…hole in your hand…forcing my tongue in your mouth. Come on- play along! It’s all better now, we are going to have a lovely time, you only have to be receptive. Here laddie”

It’s moments like these you wish this mofo had the internet. Here…go to http://www.immasickbastardDOTcom and get rid of some of your twistyMctwisterson bullshit and leave poor Jamie outta it man!

Ah if we could only redirect the the  insanity!

Ah if we could only redirect the the insanity!

Ole CreepMaster goes in for a let’s say frenchier kiss & complains at the lack of enthusiasm that his partner is displaying – decides that some threats against Claire are in order.  Jamie makes it clear that he said he wouldn’t “resist”.He is NOT going to “participate”.  Probably not the best plan of action.  CreepMaster now had a point to prove & it was that Jamie, would participate, whether he liked it or not. At least his body would participate.

He lifted him up to a sitting position and showed Jamie…and all of us that – our bodies can have minds of their own. Physical response has little to do with emotional response when it comes to reflex.  I noticed in some of social media out there, a few women had a difficult time grasping this concept. Saying it made men seem weak minded, not in control. Ummmm WHAT THE HELL? Our bodies have reflexes…men & women alike – Let me advise. Men have external organs that are easier to get to. This also goes straight to victim shaming & I won’t play THAT game with anyone.

No  really....go...see ya...buh bye now.

No really….go…see ya…buh bye now.

Bodies can, will & often physically respond to sexual stimulation. CCMG took this as a sign that he was controlling Jamie’s body. Adding some words of graciousness you know “Only want you to like it.”  You could see how much Jamie was trying to fight his bodies response & was getting angry with himself for not being able too. Throwing it back at Creepy, tells him just get it over with already…he hawked a big ole loogie in Creepy’s face. Ya know – maybe not the greatest idea at the time because it really pissed him off.

Captain Creepy is still calm for a microsecond asking “You think I can not control the darkness I inhabit?” like…implying he can…but he completely loses his shit! Guess what you sadistic freakshow – there is NO controlling that darkness.  That darkness just went batshit crazy & Jamie was on the bottom of it. Quite literally.

Creepy proceeds to brutally rape Jamie – telling him to scream – well – that HURT. Physically…it HURT…emotionally it HURT…everything about that moment HURT. “I” screamed at my TV right along with Jamie. DAMN YOU Creepy…you rotten SOB.

I don't look like Stevie boy but I sure as hell sounded like him!

I don’t look like Stevie boy but I sure as hell sounded like him!

That was the portion of our show my hubby hid his face. He really didn’t like it. Nope.

Don't look!

Don’t. Like. This. Part.

FlashBANG over. None too soon either. Geez…Sam…whatever places you had to go…you went.  I have this inkling our Tobias – he has a bit of that steele in his veins. He comes up with some pretty sinister shit with the writers to add in. Fingers in mouths, licking backs, faces. On the Ira/Moore podcast he thought “Hey, let’s use dead Morley as a mattress.” Ummmmm…

That boy...he ain't right.

That boy…he ain’t right.

He goes places. In his head. Which makes his acting…that much more terrifying. I’m really glad Ira was like Ummmm Tobias – Richard really hasn’t done anything to you…rats are one thing dude…THAT…totally another. Let’s not. It doesn’t mean Tobias is freakydeaky…it means he is a thinker, he gets into his characters head & he can go to those places. I think it’s a study of how far can he go…they tell him when “Yeah…far enough.”

Sam, I am guessing, this…is an educated guess, seems an introvert. This exposure, quite literally, must have been exhausting for him. I have heard many words to describe his performance in this episode. Many I wholeheartedly agree with. The ones “I” choose – brave, raw & fascinating.  I know NOW what Diana was talking about when she said she looked forward to this.  As difficult as it is to watch someone you care about go through this…and I CARED…it was enthralling. Encompassing. Why?  Because HE made me CARE. Tobias made me CARE. Cait made me LOVE them together. They did that as ACTORS.

It's like way cooler than all this stuff thrown together in one GIF!
That is like, way cooler than all this stuff thrown together in one GIF!

We so often get all whipped up in the who did it better than – we forget they DO it together. We so often get so wrapped up in our favourites that we dismiss the beauty of how well they work as an ensemble & obviously love one another. (Now keep your heads on. Love means many different things to many different people) They wouldn’t be able to portray this so well without respecting one another.

Ooops I did it again. Sorry. Not Sorry.

Ooops I did it again. Sorry. Not Sorry.

There were words spoken prior to Claire setting Jamie’s hand. That’s it. They were spoken. Jamie was telling Claire – he didn’t care. He was trying to let her know in his way that he was lost from her & she…stubborn as he…wasn’t hearing him. She was focused on healing him. She knew…yes…he was broken. One of these things she KNEW how to fix. She had to deal with first.  I truly adore the way these two play off one another. They are a brilliant balance. They don’t even need the words sometimes. Frig knows…the makeup/prop department sure as hell killed it as far the whole business with fixing up Jamie’s hand went.

That looked pretty...gross...n...gross.
That looked pretty…gross…n…gross.

Sure …things have to look realistic. They did. Graphic even. Bones jutting out, skin being tugged at and sewn together. Hearing the bones scraping together, seeing the blood squishing. There are people who squirm ‘n gag at sights like that. There are folks who “ooooh & ahhhh”. There are even ones that sit on the edge of their seat & examine the scene for inconsistencies because they are in the medical profession. Whichever you are -I think we can agree, they did a friggen sweet job of it.

giphy

The voice over helped me through this scene.  Concentrating on her words made me not want to toss my cookies.  The way she wrapped it in that crazy contraption was SO cool looking. Rigged up & completely not like something ‘perfect’. So it was.  Primitive & barbaric. Like the wounds that were beneath the bandages.

Claire is sent to bed by Brother Paul- he will take care of him. She needs her rest. She leaves the room. Walking through the halls, she starts making some retching noises then goes ahead & pukes. Hubby pipes up & says. “She’s knocked up isn’t she…she’s been puking EVERYWHERE!”

Considering we read Outlander a few months ago for our #Bedtimestories, it’s not a shocker he thinks he is figuring something new out.

GOOD BOY

GOOD BOY

It’s always nice to be watching the show & have wee bits from the book pop in. For someone who does adore the books, it is like finding a $5.00 bill in the pocket of someone’s jeans when you are doing the wash (or so my hubby tells me). This added sweetness is Father Anselm & Claire’s moment in the chapel. It’s familiar yet still different. It is poignant & meaningful.  Claire essentially confesses all to him. Taking the chance that she may very well be sitting next to another Father Bain ~

However, I think she knew his heart from the start.  His kindness was apparent.   Hubcicle & I looked at one another with big ole dumb grins on our faces when he turned to Claire & said “How marvelous…a miracle perhaps” such a different reaction from what she had expected. We know that Claire never particularly found herself to be a woman of faith but in that moment – there was calm. It seemed her reserve was restored. It was an awesome moment and even though the powers that be said it was moved all around in post production. They put it in the perfect spot. It fit just right.

Sure, Jesus is cool...it's just some of his followers give me the heebies *cough* Bain *cough*
Sure, Jesus is cool…some of his followers give me the heebies *cough* Bain *cough*

The next day, Jamie is still refusing to eat & he is running a fever. Claire lets him know even though his hand looks like hamburger, it’s coming along nicely.  He’s none too receptive however. He doesn’t want to be saved. That’s just not nice.  She’s trying…really really trying.

We cut scene to the boys, Angus thinks its just a good idea to get drunk. Being sober sure as flip isn’t going to cure Jamie. Murtagh is confident that Claire can heal Jamie’s wounds but he knows that Jamie isn’t eating – that bothers him. Willie tells a tale of his uncle who did the same after an accident…starved himself he did. Uplifting story Willie. Thanks for sharing. Someone smack him would you?  Thanks Angus. Nice aim!

right in my eye

I do like Willie. A lot. He can be a dumb kid sometimes & they do to dumb kids what I WANT to do to dumb kids. Good cuff upside the head. You know…in a kind way *ahem*

Annnnnnnnyway…One of my favourite scenes in the show is between Murtagh & Jamie.  I can’t understand a bloody word they are saying because non hablez de gaelic. Uh-huh…I’m a canucklehead through and through. Sorry. If you DO want to know the conversation.Turns out, it is as touching & gut wretching as they portray it. Hit up this website. They even spell Gaidhlig with the lil accenty things all fancy n stuff.everythings-so-fancy-on-firefly-with-jewel-staite

You can see the heartbreak on Murtagh’s face. The despair on Jamie’s as well. For about a second I want them to take the cameras off of their faces because it is too painful. THEN the show WENT to the next scene…GAH go back. Please! I would rather them go back to the heartbreak & despair faces…yeah…please.

It is another flashBANG…and a bad one. Jamie dragging himself across the dungeon of dooms cold floor. He is naked in a way that angers us. He is bloodied in various places that make us want to go all mamabear. He is struggling across the stones, vomiting & looking very much – destroyed.

The bastard…aka…oh…I have so many names for him right now, none of them the least bit flattering and some might even burn your retinas when you read them. I am hating on him THAT much. Tobias PLAYED that character so well it made me angry to see his smug, priggish *sigh* whatever. Smug as usual. Wanting to know if Jamie has reached his limit. Geez…I WONDER?  When you start hallucinating “Claire Jack Randall”…you know shit’s done gone sideways and your cheese done fell of your cracker.

not funny
Those 2 faces really shouldn’t melt together like that. Nightmares – daymares – night terrors – day terrors…that’s what THAT face is made of.

Its apparent Jamie keeps reaching for the one thing that gives him solace. Claire. Creep Master doesn’t want him to have any part of it then lights to the realization that- “Hmmm this Claire thing can really mess with the boy.”  To watch Claire’s image fade from Jamie’s grasp & him curl up in a naked ball & cry like a babe was simply heartbreaking. How’d we all manage not curl up with him?  I wanted to spoon him. But…he was pretty grimy.  I have standards. *kidding* I don’t.

CCMG played the Claire Card…wanted Jamie’s surrender. “Are you mine?” Jamie – confused, broken & out of his head- heard Creepy but saw Claire. “Yes, only you.” Jamie said in his addled state.  The sadistic dick at this point didn’t care HOW he got Jamie’s surrender- he just wanted it. He didn’t care Jamie was out of his head delusional, he wanted him complacent – that was how he got him.

There is no better term for it than mindbuggery. (I don’t believe the term existed before now, I am pretty sure I made it up- well inadvertently Diana made it up – I just named what he did to Jamie.) Captain Creepy took a walk to his bag of tricks hanging in the room & pulled out his seal…heated in the huge lantern to a red hot brand & sauntered…yeah…the twisted frito chip sauntered over to Jamie & pointed to a place on his chest. Casually telling him to show him that he was Jamie’s. Mindbuggery folks.

mindfuckery

Jamie had a moment…a small moment where there was defiance. The brand did not make it to the spot on his chest where Captain Creepy intended it to go. Jamie did brand himself. However the brand was on his ribs. The look on CCMG’s face was something like…well…that wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it’ll do.

Every. Single.Time. Post production did a brilliant job of taking us out of that cell. Jamie was laying weak & wasted  in that sonofablankityblanks arms, with me wishing I could reach through the screen and tear him from his grasp when they put him back in the bed of the Abbey, rubbing his brand.

ouch-kiss-it-better-1

Oh how I wish things were this simple for our Jamie *sigh*

 I just wanna reach through that big ole screen and kiss his booboo better…the brand one, the other…well. No.

The group gathers as Willie rides up after doing some recon. Redcoats are going to get closer & they know they have to get Jamie out of there. They also know he isn’t getting better, if they wait much longer…well…monks don’t make good warriors do they?

giphy (1)

They do the geography. France. That is the safest place for them right now.  Murtagh makes a point of stating he will secure a ship. Always durable. Always reliable. Murtagh.

Willie’s up next. Oh…sorry…that sounded naughty. O.k. maybe it only sounded naughty to us pervyMcperversons.  I expect by now the majority of those reading this particular burst…ah…are.  Annnnywhoo…Willie, concerned for Jamie & wanting to see if he can help checks up on him. He isn’t a stupid kid like some of the men treat him.  He sees the value of the relationship between Jamie & Claire. He tries to get Jamie to see it again. Granted he isn’t fully aware of the torment Jamie has suffered.  Still he asks what he can do.  Jamie, seeing the blade Willie carries, asks for it. So he can end things…once and for all.

I heard of a huge outcry from fans about this particular scene. Saying Jamie would NEVER kill himself. Ummmm hey folks…what do you think he was trying to do in the book when he wasn’t eating & pushing everyone away…same thing…different means. Yup.  Again, Jamie was in a different frame of consciousness – not the Jamie we know & love. Not the Jamie he had grown into. It was “this” experience that helped him become the man that would never do that. Maybe? Perhaps?

Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmm

Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmm

 Of course Willie tells him to get bent, leaves & tattles on him to Claire.  SHE then goes straight to Murtagh…who is her Dear Abby. First Murtagh is happily telling her he has booked passage on a ship but he quickly reads her face & trails off .She tells him of Jamie wanting Willie to kill him & grasps from Murtagh’s look that he knew about Jamie’s state of mind.  Claire knew too…we all know that but she was sailing down the river denial.

Claire sure as hell doesn’t think being tortured & raped is enough reason to want to die…hell…look at all the crap SHE has been through & SHE keeps keeping on.  Okey Dokey says Murtagh but if Jamie falls so far down a hole we can’t get him out…I’m not going to watch him suffer…I will take him out! That would be kinda like pulling the plug in today’s view I’d say.

This is when Claire…faints…dead away. Big fat hairy hint to everyone.

In the next scene she comes to with Brother Paul caressing her neck & Murtagh feebly tapping his hand on his dirk & being very anxious. Here- I vere off –   I LOVE what Duncan Lacroix has done with this character.  He has completely given life to him that I never expected. I adored Murtagh in the books,but because I connect to introverted & awkward folks. It is like Duncan grasped onto that & not only gave Murtagh this…dimension of being…but gave him an added bit of personality that makes you smile, just seeing him. Man…he made me laugh out loud when he said “Scairt the piss right outta me.” He had the decency to look abashed because the monk was in the room with them. Which gave us a breather. We needed it!  Murtagh has become a steady – not just for Claire but for the audience.thank you

Murtagh calls it like it is.  Jamie can’t be pulled from the darkness that is eating him up unless someone goes into that darkness after him.  It’s quite simple really.  You see Claire think about this & this woman -who has faced down evil priests, witch hunters, scorned teenage girls (those are SCARY), sadistic freaks of nature,  english deserters with rape in mind…yeah…she knows she can handle going into the dark reaches of the mind of the man she loves more than life itself. She has this covered.

Claire starts the prep work. First on the list… girlfriend is making some lavender oil. She means business. Take no prisoners, she is getting her man back.

She goes into Jamie’s room & he is already having bad dreams, she puts the oil under his nose. He hears Captain Creepy’s voice & sees his sick smiling face looming over his bed at him. When Claire speaks again, it is her face there…mocking him & this sets Jamie into confusion. He tells her to leave him be- she’s all “Yeah right…tried that…look where it has gotten us. I’m trying something else.” The more she pushes Jamie…the more Captain Creepy’s mindbuggery pushes forward. Jamie can’t help but see HIS face like he was seeing CLAIRE’S in the cell.  Jamie snaps, he throws Claire to the ground but due to the fact she is ready…girlfriend gives his a swift kick and a few good smacks. Jamie is pretty weak – you know…when you don’t eat or take care of yourself, you get on the flimsy side. He manages to get her on the floor telling her he doesn’t want to hurt her. Yeah…think about that will you. You ARE hurting her A LOT! You want to kill yourself AND you won’t tell her why! That buddy…that hurts a whole helluvalot more than throwing a girl around a room. In the struggle she tears at his…ummm…I’m not even sure what to call what he is wearing. It’s not really a nighty or ever a strip of cloth. It effectively covered all his man bits. Manbit loinwear? Anyway. She tore at it…and saw the JR branding.

What? What's that?
What? What’s that?

She think she KNOWS he was branded. Tries to tell him that it’s alright but he tells her nope.Not alright.  HE is the one that branded himself. That means it goes way deeper. It’s time Jamie told her the truth. Claire didn’t WANT to hear the words but knew he NEEDED to say them…to free himself of them.

It’s true you know – if we let things go in that way. It can free us of an inner torture. Give our pain away to someone who doesn’t “feel” it the way we do.

lifelesson

Toger Brings you LIFE LESSONS

He tells her that the sick & twisted pretzel brain didn’t just use force on him…he made love to him. It was an admission you could tell he never wanted to share with her. Frankly – what man WOULD want to?

This is something that hasn’t changed in centuries with male victims of sexual violence & assault.  I worked with victim services for many many years. Male victims are out there. Male victims are much quieter & there is a huge stigma attached to “being” a victim. Survivors of assault & rape rarely come forward. There are so many complex reasons. More than any one person could begin to explain. Shame is only one of the reasons. Victim shaming is abhorrent and I am a shame the shamer kinda gal.

hang-thine-head-in-shame

Jamie takes another trip down flashBANG lane.  This is the one that many people had a problem with.  This is the one some claimed wasn’t in the book.   It’s all about how we “read” & “percieve”.

Jamie is clearly out of it. He wakes momentarily to see his tormentor getting washed up. Thanks pal. Mighty kind of you to be conscious of your physical hygiene since your mind is a dirty as a toilet seat in a 1 star hotel. *eyeroll*

Captain Creepy wakes our Jamie with some of that stank in a bottle.  He starts another round of his mindbuggery. He brings Claire to Jamie’s mind – speaking of her hands as he brings his over Jamie’s body with oil. With the delusion & unimaginable pain he has been in – the escape of the words “Think of your wife.” brought a resounding “YEAH! Think of CLAIRE…get the hell out of that room!” from even my husband.  After all – Jamie thought he was supposed to die shortly – if he FOUGHT this process – he surely would have suffered greater pain – YEP…this was not a scene that was “enjoyable” to watch. It certainly was not “comfortable”. However…it had a purpose.  Captain Creepy USED Jamie’s LOVE for Claire. He USED Jamie’s NEED for Claire and his NEED for comfort to get what he WANTED. The mindbuggery goes into full on buggery & he breaks Jamie completely. He gets our Jamie to surrender completely. The rotten sonofawhoseawhatyawannacallhim got exactly what he wanted.

OMG That makes me SO angry!
OMG That makes me SO angry! 

Jamie…breaks…he realizes exactly what just went down. The release was inevitable. He faces the fact that at the hands of this monster he gave over everything. He cries like a child & Captain Creepy has the nuts to say “I understand, she will never forgive you.”  Ummmmm really? This guy is more twisted than a balloon animal.

That’s finally over & we are back on the floor of the Abbey with Jamie & Claire.  He tells her straight up – he was glad not to feel pain for a bit in that moment. She needed to let him know that whatever he was thinking he had to know that there was nothing to forgive.  He was sure he was “less” to her because of it – because he was broken by him.  That quite pissed her off.  The words she speaks, she speaks with heart & vehemence. Jamie- throws them back at her.

He weakly gets back onto the bed. Tells her, he is disgusted with himself. THAT…that right there makes Claire go into I’M your wife mode.  She forces him to SEE HIMSELF as SHE sees him.  She forces him into the position she has been in.  Take yourself from ME will you? Then fine.  I go too.

You know…often we only need to see ourselves as others see us to get a fresh perspective. Sitting staring through our own self pity…looking down at ourselves, it so much different than when someone physically holds a mirror up and says HERE! THIS IS WHAT I SEE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. POWERFUL. REMARKABLE & I LOVE IT BECAUSE…

lifelesson

Moving on quickly to cutting that JR brand out. Big hunka charred flesh scooped  & flung into the fire quick as may be.  Quite a few loogey’s hawked in this episode. The last one sizzled on the fire with the man meat of Jamie’s rib. Yet another scar to add to his collection. Seriously Jamie, you are like a good ole fashion TIMEX

post-8194-0-36118000-1426349325

Takes a lickin alright…

To the shores for our goodbyes with the men. Rupert & Angus are always good for a laugh with their banter. Of course, this is the last time for a while.  Angus had to leave us with something memorable. A handful of fans were not impressed by his behaviour- uncalled for & the like…we might want to remember he’s often used for comic relief & to take our minds off things of a serious nature.  The series isn’t going to last forever folks, let’s not take everything so seriously – especially the likes of Angus aye?

angus
Yes this is the face we are to take seriously…

I must say, I do find Jamie looks quite appealing in his tricorn hat. Wait.I’d find Jamie appealing shaved bald with a polka dotted beanie. Never mind. My observations are futile.

The way Willie stood on the shore…staring out at them as they sailed away gave me pause. Made me believe – we could be seeing young Willie sooner than later.

Maybe we do...yeah...that'd be cool. Willie in France!
Maybe we do…yeah…that’d be cool. Willie in France! I’m just making guesses not starting rumours. It’s only a rumour if you repeat it.

On the ship, Jamie is trying to get his sea legs, which is hard because he isn’t very sea worthy.  Claire too…green around the gills it seems. They chat about how both are Pukey McPukersons – then Claire & Jamie start talking about their future in France. What they will be doing? Where they will go? The rising…if they can stop it.  I keep on looking at Jamie’s hand. Damn that’s dark.  Bruised and nasty. Keep talking though guys, I hear you.  Claire wants to stop Culloden from happening. She all but convinces Jamie they can change the future if they try.

Shhhhh....we aren't going to talk about THAT!

Shhhhh….we aren’t going to talk about THAT!

But now…she has something else to tell him. SOMETHING ELSE? You wanna change the future. That’s a lot right there sister. Now what?   You wanna fly to the moon? You wanna set Murtagh up with the chambermaid?

Claire tells Jamie she has a little bundle of Fraser baking in her bunnery! OH GOODY! Yeah, all of us book readers knew…know…but they have been playing with the adaption so we can never be 100% sure what they are going to do with things.  This was a great way to play it. Jamie’s face was blank…WTF?! How’d that happen-ness! Sure, he “knows” HOW it happens but as far as he was aware, Claire wasn’t able to have babies.  She isn’t wrong often but this time. YUP! Wrong! Jamie hit the baby making button.

Can't wait till he learns about these lil fellas!
Can’t wait till he learns about these lil fellas!We will get there! I know we will! YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH!

It’s hard to judge by his face if he is happy because he looks so confused. He uttered a little gaelic…could have been interpreted as “holy shit”. Read the scots blog I posted earlier and they tell you what he said there too.  She simply asks him if he is happy. The gap between his thoughts & his heart collide.  He never thought he would be happy again. But he is. VERRA VERRA HAPPY INDEED! They embrace with such enthusiasm I wanted to jump into it! In fact, they drew Murtagh to them…the smile on his face…well damnit.

won't cry...won't.....WAAAAHH

Won’t cry…Won’t…..WAAAAHH

They leave us with the most gorgeous view of our couple standing on the deck of the ship together. Staring out into their future. Jamie looking down to his wife & growing child. The ship turning…headed to- well- France right?

We have entered the land of #NaughtLander.

Look how beautiful it can be though.  Don't let it get you down.  ENJOY IT.

Look how beautiful it can be though. Don’t let it get you down. ENJOY IT.

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

 Do not despair. There is so much for fans to do.

We promise to be here for you. Whether you like it or not. I will continue to provide my own personal brand of edutainment.  This fandom is FULL of talent.  I am gonna be throwing a bunch of it at you. Check out our twitter @ABOotlanders .  This is where we LIVETWEET with each episode. As we watch on Showcase. We furiously tweet. In fact our magic tweeters started the #OutlanderCAN. Which I will brag @ABOotlanders got to trend during episodes 8 and 16.  Canadians don’t brag but we toot our own tooters when tooting is justified. It takes a team of us @tlmfarmgirl is my TwitterTrending Posse…xo

We love to share the love.  Not, like STD share but you know…the other share.

See...clean... *eyelash flutter*

See…clean share…not dirty… *eyelash flutter*

That wasn’t so bad.  I know it took me a while to get to Episode 16. No…it wasn’t because I was scairt either.  It was because…get ready…I have this thing that gets in the way sometimes. It is called a life. UGH! I know right. RUDE!

Plus I love to hear from you. Comment – blab- chat away. I will answer.

SL/Sher or Hey You…the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

Be grateful. Soon, my friends…we shall have – #NaughtLander!

faintIllustration

Swooning Fanlanders every where. WHAT SHALL WE DO?…………….. That’s what I’m afraid of!

We have ONE…count ’em ONE episode of our obsession left.

The only thing that makes this GIF better is if the ice cream was whisky flavoured

The only thing that would make this GIF better  – the ice cream is whisky flavoured.

There are a number of fans spending their time with their panties in bunches, (my advice…take those suckers off if they are giving you such a hassle). There is another segment having more than debates about cast members being shown or not shown love and appreciation from the powers that be, ( A little dose of reality here…what we see online or hear in blurbs in one hour podcasts or in small panels, yes, compared to 24 hour days, 7 day weeks and 30 day months and 12 month years…a few hours of panels that are made available to us-  are heartbeats in these individuals lives- are NOT reality. We have zero clue as to what in fact goes on in their LIVES. Do not claim to have an idea of how they are treated, validated or appreciated by their peers.  It is insulting- because, we’re not there.). Lifting us ALL UP TOGETHER, gatherings of fans in the UK which turned out to be like, the best gathering ever…making, you know…the rest of us super jealous. Which is always a great look. I happen to be stunning in green.

ron moore

If Ron D. Moore says it, it’s gotta be true right??

As far as I am concerned…for every 2 ughs….ONE WHOOHOO…simply cancels ANY the others out. Period. End of story. FINITO!

you-know-im-rightIt seems to be, in this day and age…common sense is like a superpower.  Which brings me to a post I read today.  Diana Gabaldon is surely my newest superhero.  I sure as hell hope she has a cape somewhere…OH! Wait…never mind…SHE DOES! She has LOTS of capes!  Like one for EVERY occasion!

PicMonkey Collage

Diana posted something on her FB today that was again, thought provoking & full of common sense.  You know…her super power.  Every fan should read it AND take it for what it is. I will not reiterate what she said. I will  just say DITTO!

common

Before people call me a sheep for blindly following what Diana says, you know. It’s not like that. Sometimes folks, we simply happen to have a genuine respect for people who happen to deserve said respect. Let’s say, their capabilities and their art. When that happens, we don’t bother with being negative and trying to take anything away from them.  We go about our life with an infinite gratitude for the people in it that have these abilities.

It is not niavity, it is not foolishness, it is not blind following. It is called respect, gratitude & acceptance.  It is called living our life differently than other who choose to live theirs in a different way.  We ain’t knockin down anyone else’s door, don’t knock down ours…It’s happens to be a matter of kindness as well.

Kindness...yes....it looks like this. We LOVE a lil kindness

Kindness…yes….it looks like this. We LOVE a lil kindness

Yes, We happen to do the same for those who create the show.  WE CHOOSE, to see the best in it, not to be an armchair critic.We allow the professionals to do their thing the way they see fit…and ENJOY it.  Even the parts that some others CHOOSE not to find enjoyable.  Does this make sense?

200

If ya can’t quote a classic cartoon, who can ya quote???

We don’t have episodes we hated & ones we loved.  We have episodes we loved and ones we loved the most. We have ones we watched a dozen times & ones we watched 3. See…that’s us.  It’s all a matter of perception isn’t it? We have fans who will wax poetic over Tobias & drool over him. Switch directions, same is true for Sam…and we are equal opportunity…we ALL love Caitriona. We tend to think she is the most stunning and talented actress out there.  Our biased opinions on Tobias & Sam don’t stop at their looks naturally.  Anyone argues talent, depth, humour…well we might have a problem.tumblr_inline_n2zoj0rWFK1rg0g8s

Perceive from the positive. Always Assume Positive Intent & We will get along JUST fine.

Now…after the final episode airs…

we will wait…we will wait a long time. We will be #WithOutlander.

Fans will get restless. The crazy will start to creep over the line…others will play jump rope with the line for funzies…hell…some might start doing lines…with the line. Bringing a WHOLE new meaning to #Cracklanders.  The truth is, there is no stopping it.  Don’t try.

You know...before it begins...

You know…before it begins…BAH…don’t even bother…like don’t.

The ONLY thing we can do…is the best version of ourselves.  Try our best NOT to get sucked into any drama. That is always our choice.  My Mom (may she be partying wherever she is…I never understood this resting stuff) used to say “No one can MAKE you do anything.”

cNiCY

Can’t make me. I say!

There will be casting announcements.  We already got one…thanks to Maril Davis (who happens to be my favourite producer…I think it’s her hair & sass)

maril

Bouton…Awwwwwww…I hear the pup is a Diva.  *snort*  Can’t wait to see this lil chewbacca in action. There will be contests, photos from the set & interviews, & comicons.

This is our time to stick together my friends. Lift each other up. Entertain one another.  ENJOY one another.  As one of our wonderfully positive ABOotlanders said, we will have lots of time to enjoy the creative genius that this fandom has! Lady Raven! Julia LeBlanc! aka girlfrog.tumblr! Loverdove Productions! Beth Wesson! Keetin Marchi! These are just a few to keep you busy. #WATCHTHISSPACE because we will keep you entertained with ideas & fun with other Outlander POSITIVE fans during #NaughtLander.

Remember…When a negative hits your feed – come back with 2 positives.  It’s up to us to keep our world a HAPPY & WONDERFUL place.

Should be easy since we a bunch of happy & wonderful people right?

damn-straight-43659033712

The Blogburst for To Ransom A Man’s Soul AKA TRAMS- (oh…dear) will take a bit of time, as it will be a delicate matter to find the balance betwixt my ummmm nature and the nature of the show.  Don’t you worry though. I WILL do it.  I did it for #WentworthPrison. I will do it for #TRAMS

Catch ya on the flipside

So many bad jokes...why?

I don’t even understand why she keeps including me…

SL…the ABOotiest of the ABootlanders

They went there. You know…to Wentworth.

and it was worth it.

I am going to forewarn you. You generally come back to this blogburst because I make you laugh. Just because Wentworth has the climate it has. Doesn’t mean I am going to be dark and foreboding with no humour. It means it my humour will most likely be darker and more foreboding.  It will seem more likely that I will be going to hell more quickly & if you laugh at the things I say, I will be in good company when I get there…presuming you die first.

jk

Just Kidding…kinda…sorta.

We won’t have debates over heaven & hell. It’s all one big party to me.

You have the right & the freedom to stop reading this blogburst at any time. I do not say that with callousness or any inclination of rudeness. I say that with a kind heart and open mind.  The same as I ask for you to have if you choose to keep reading.

The humour I have is…mmmm….occasionally dry. Like a popcorn fart. It can be “in your face groan worthy”…you know…Grandpa humour, only I’m only semi old, no penis & don’t have hair growing out of my ears…yet. Sometimes it can be downright slap your knee …”Girlfriend…YOU AIN’T RIGHT!” That is of course, me, just talking to myself.

kitty-foreman-s-laugh-o
Me n Kitty think I am freakin hilarious!  In our own minds of course

Continue, carry on, hang out with me or…don’t. I wont be offended. Know why? I won’t even know!

I will be offended if you continue to read then decide it is in your best interest to bitch about my being crass or my insensitivity to the subject matter cuz…well…shit. I warned you didn’t I?

You know, it is episodes like this one…and The Garrison that I am so incredibly thankful to Bear McCreary. He settles our bellies before each episodes starts. So kind of him…and go to his website and look at his face…he really is a sweet looking man.

I always think of our @ABOotlander crew when I watch too, how they are going to cope. One…Our Tobias adorer. Karen…when Tobias has Black Jack (AKA Captain Creep Master General)  out to play, many of our ABOotlander crew have the pitchforks at the ready.  Karen on the other hand…has her popcorn, comfy blanket and lipstick on. Girlfriend has her protective armour on for him. Posting things like this to remind us, and pictures of Tobias holding puppies…the furry kind – not the boobie kind.

tobias

Of course we all love Tobias…we love how good he is at making us despise that sunnuvawhosawhatRandall. Digression…OVER.

The title cards have become something I look forward to each week. Last weeks The Search one was one of my favourites with the marionettes & the stones. Freakin fabulous…and honest to frig…Wentworth Prison. COME ON!

Was I looking into a friend’s bedroom? *snort* I LOVED it. It was brilliant.  The iron mask.

shivers

shudder

I really could see in my looney mind’s eye,  Diana’s face light up watching that. Not because I think she is deranged…I don’t. I think for her to see this come to fruition – to see her name on THAT particular title card – to see the depth of work, not necessarily the darkness but hear the metal & honour…yeah…I could almost see the pride she was feeling. It made me incredibly HAPPY for her.

diana

THIS…RIGHT HERE. Got me…right…THERE in the feels – all of them.

Then we get the opening scene. Nothing like a WHOOMP there it is moment eh? Wentworth Prison…let’s get right on with it shall we?

Let's waste NO time

Let’s waste NO time

We get no preludes, no foreplay, no light kisses on the neck before they just start snappin them.  One neck… after the other. The hangmans noose stretching. *Blink Blink*  I am really trying to get the sound of cracking walnuts outta my head but it’s not going anywhere.

cracking walnuts

Interesting when Mom’s get together conversation usually turns to childbirth, sex or pooping…so.. about to be hanged men…talk about poopin’ too. These must be universal topics of conversation. Granted Jamie seems to want to change the topic to, you know…escaping or at least taking out a few guards before he goes out.  Taran, he really likes to hear himself talk though. Chatty, that guy…I like his voice…likedliked his voice. As long as it lasted.

Turns out, you probably shouldn’t bad mouth the people who are tying your noose for you.  They tend not to take kindly to it and give you a bad hang. Not such a clean break comes for our friend Taran. His game of hangman lasts a lot longer than it should have…right to the last letter. His word was GAMEOVER.

gameover

Jamie is next to the hangman’s stairs but he doesn’t go easy. He puts up a fight, it doesn’t last long. His ankles are  kinda in chains.  It’s pretty amazing how large he still looks against the redcoats but yeah, they put him to his knees.

Jamie doesn’t look at the noose when it goes around his neck. He was watching Taran, hanging there.  I have to say – I was a bit discombobulated watching that particular accessory making its way around Jamie’s beautiful throat. It did not match his eyes like…at ALL!

Riding in on his damn high horse…here he comes to save his day. Captain Creep Master General Himself…

Captain Creep Master General or CCMG for short if your nasty
Captain Creep Master General or CCMG for short if you’re nasty-
and he bloody well IS.

You WILL notice I said to save HIS damn day. Usually it’s a white horse someone rides in on to save someone…this was a black horse. Yeah…symbolism – THIS is not lost on me. Not lost on Jamie either. Jamie looks about ready to jump off the side of the platform. It is definitely one of those moments I am sure he goes back to in his mind over & over again while he is in that dungeon of his.

wellhung

*snort* I love our @ABOotlander hubbies.

Watching CCMG’s face in that moment…that sneer…it reminded me of someone from my childhood. Only took me a moment…the Raccoons villain. Cyril Sneer…nuck nuck nuck

cyril sneer

Jamie doesn’t give up, he is wearing quite possibly the ugliest anklet in the history of anklets…and I have been to Ardene’s.  That is saying something.  He keeps at it – it looks hopeless – it sounds hopeless – I am pretty sure – it’s hopeless but the man has what we call…ummm…false hope…so he keeps on yanking his chain.

How many men does it take to bring a condemned man a meal of stale bread & some water? 2. One to carry the plate & torch and one to carry the pitcher of water – that never gets used. Jamie looks pretty hungry though, he rips into the bread like he hasn’t eaten in a month. Could be it’s been that long. Somebody make that boy a sandwich! *Fan’s all over the world decry their feminist beliefs to get the bread & balogna out of the fridge*

Yes… accommodations at this place are atrocious. I sure hope he writes a scathing review!

yelp

Next, we (you know, all of us & Claire)  sit for a pleasant afternoon conversation with Sir Fletcher Gordon. The warden of Wentworth. Claire has made her way into the prison under the guise as a “distant family connection”.

Let’s detour for those not in the know…most of you are but it’s always a bit of fun trivia. Frazer Hines, who Diana spotted on an episode of Dr. Who about 100 yrs ago (Diana is ageless if you haven’t noticed) in a kilt & thought “Isn’t that fetching” and found herself still thinking of this young man in a kilt the next day…in church…and you wonder why I love this dirty woman?

If you want to read it all, read this from my friends at OutlanderTV News 

We are back with Claire & Dr.WhoSirGordon, letting her know…nope, Jamie isn’t dead…yet. “Stroke of luck” he says. Ummm, stroke of something but your definition of luck and mine are way different buddy. I call lucky hitting the 6/49 jackpot. Maybe that’s just me. *shrug*

Claire sees the Bible on Sir G’s desk. Puts her 2 & 2 together and comes up with Jesus. So she decides it is time to throw down the christian card.

Get it...Christian...card...throwing it...

Get it…Christian…card…throwing it…

It works. Kind of.  She hoped to see Jamie. That is a no. He’s a dangerous criminal and she is a high born English lady. That’s silly!  She asks maybe a letter of reconciliation for his family. Nah…that’s not appropriate. Sir G is probably thinking the Scot probably can’t read or write anyway. OH! But she could do a wonderful kindness & save them some expense by taking this rotten kids stuff home to his family. When he leaves the room…Claire starts to fall apart. FFS Caitriona Balfe is insanely talented & I have NO idea how someone did not see this sooner but I am pretty friggen happen the universe works the way it does and they didn’t. So there.

Sir G comes back and Claire pulls it back together pretty well. The old fart hands over everything the young prisoner owns in the world –  right here in this box to Claire. His whole life…

clairehands

I often talk about Caitriona’s face. This time it was her hands, the way she grasped the box, Held it. Yeah…that. Come on. Woman. It was like she held Jamie’s and her own heart…right there. I might add…mine.  Friggen box.

She leaves the prison weakened, stumbling & sickened. She throws up & Murtagh – grabs her & the box & carries her away from the place that cracked her heart – but didn’t break her. This is Claire. BADASS. I want to add. Duncan Lacroix has added THE 4th dimension to Murtagh that “I” always felt was there in the books that some others seem to be surprised by. For 20 yrs I have adored Murtagh – always thought he was soft, humourous & loveable…in a book you have to be willing to add the dimension…on TV the actor needs to be willing to give it. Duncan does with an extra bit of awesomeness mixed in. He gives us Murtagh. With an extra dash of eyebrows. The most expressive damned eyebrows to have lived. Yes, I know the eyebrows have their own twitter account.

weird

…that’s all I have to say about that

 

The next scene has Angus n Rupert seemingly playin hookey. Murtagh is pretty pissy with them. As much as a hardass as Murtagh is, his potty mouth is pretty tame. Donkeys?! Our virgin ears. *giggle*

Of course, it only seemed like Angus & Rupert were humpin’ the dog.  They in fact were doing some undercover interrogation. Sly, these two.  Letting not one…but 2 jailers from Wentworth win all their monies at dice so they can get them to flap their gums about what happens at the prison.  They get some really great recon information. LIKE – Sir G is super dedicated to his Bible time.  So much so…he is away from his office for a solid hour everyday.

Our Angus n Rupert are pretty damn proud of themselves…as they should be.

thinkerfeeler

Of course we go from the comedy duo straight to the depths of hell.  Nothing like jerking our emotional chains.

Let’s be off to the dungeon. Where Jamie is still struggling to free his chains – there is not much in this young man that says “Give Up.”  He can be heading to the gallows & he will get a shot in…as long as there is a chain to pull on…he will yank it.

Then there is Captain Creepy. He obviously was at top of his class in Smuggery101.

smugasfuck
Apologies to Jacks mom for calling her a bitch – I don’t know her but she went seriously wrong somewhere. Either she didn’t love him enough, dropped him on his head or something cuz…boyfriend just ain’t right.

He enters the dungeon, aka – pit of hell, aka Not so Suite of Torture. I could go on all day…but I won’t. It makes my tummy hurt. Someone have some Pepto?

Ira Steven Behr – one of the co-executive producers & writers of this particular show…ummm…yeah, he is brilliant. He wrote the dialogue in this episode. Brilliance? Yeah…I would say that. CCMG starts waxing poetic & falls into referencing the King of Men. Touching…isn’t it? He even makes reference to Brutus later as well…Ira…you killed me with these and I loved them. Seems I’m a twisted little pretzel myself.

Naturally, we can’t omit or forget that they introduced Marley. Not the cute loveable dog Marley…but the slackjawed…sidekick that is to be CCMG’s gopher. His strong arm & “body servant”.  Let’s all do a collective shudder together shall we? I am glad they didn’t match my imagination with this particular character. That would have been over the top & putrid. I am indeed disgusting because Marley of my mind…makes me want to jump off a bridge.

CCMG has a little chat with Jamie, letting him know he intercepted his petition of complaint against him. SUNNUVA! I am pretty sure we all heard him right, mentioning said petition “blackened his character”.  Perhaps it is time someone grabbed Doucher Von Douchermeister a flipping mirror because I am thinking her has never seen himself clearly. He has ZERO character TO blacken.

Do you hear yourself talking?

Do you hear yourself talking?

That damned Duke of Sandringham- I tell you the old sot needs to get a swift kick in his wee balls. SmugCaptain Creepy takes the petition out…historical document it was – burns it. That’s over…done.  Jamie knows it…we fade to black. Not Jack…just…black.

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It leaves you feeling so…fadey

Now we are going back into Wentworth while Sir G McGee is doing his praying. Murtagh & Claire say that he told her to come back for a letter. Jamie was to write it for his family.  These English folks really need to hook up with 1-800-Dentist…I can smell the rot from here. It takes a bit for the gaurdie fella with the narsty teeth to let them alone but he does. They search the office for keys & a map of the prison…one seems easy enough. The map…not so much. Moments you wish GPS was handy.

lostgps

Good things never come from not knowing where you are or where you’re going.

We are back in the pits of hell where CCMG is trying to do away with formalities. Asking if he can call Jamie Jamie…umm how about you don’t call him? Or how about you call him a cab so he can get the hell outta there?  That would make this nicer. Oh right. It’s not supposed to be nice.

CCMG asks if he makes Jamie “uncomfortable” Hmmmm.  You know something bud? I think you would make kittens on a cloud of cotton balls uncomfortable. You aren’t exactly Nan’s fresh baked cookies on Christmas morning. He taunts Jamie with his flogging & the psychological damage he wanted to inflict on him. What he wants to do is make Jamie surrender himself to him, admit he has broken him & to watch him break some more.  He desperately wants Jamie to be afraid of him…that would get his rocks off like nobody’s business.

A gift. He wants to give Jamie a gift in return if gives him his surrender.  You know Jack ole buddy ole pal…your idea of a gift…WAY off. SO off…so very fucked up.

sick bastard

Yes, his gift is a clean & honourable ending of Jamie’s choosing *ahem*. Uh-huh. The worst part of this whole speech that CCMG is giving – he believes every word that is coming out of his dirty mouth.  Just think, he probably once kissed his own mama with that mouth.  The mouth that is condemning a man to choose his death & promising him he will surrender to him. Such a charmer that one eh?

Claire & Murtagh are still in Sir G-man’s office looking for the map. They found the keys but lot of good they will do if they can’t find their way around. Ummmm – so much for that. Caught by narsty teeth…that’s ok. Murtagh hits him square in the sweet spot. You know the one….that one that makes folks go night night without a lullabye. You have to admit the “Ambien Noodle Shot” is better than his “Slit Your Throat & Give You a FlipTop Head” performance. Plus, it’s more aesthetically pleasing.

No more time now for niceties or maps. It’s time to get searching for where Jamie is. Claire is doing this on her own because she can claim “Swoon oops – I’m lost” & Murtagh can be all “DER…huh what? I’m gone for presents n shit” They agree to meet in the woods & off they go.

roger-sterling-okie-dokie

Let’s do this thing shall we?

Let’s do this thing shall we?

 Claire is doing her level best to creep through bright & shiney halls of cheery Wentworth looking for her husband. I heard somewhere if you talk about something in a positive light, it will take on its tone.  Is it working?

Calling for Jamie amongst the cells filled with filthy, shivering…at least I really really hope that guy was shivering…men.  Nope…no Jamie. We all know where the poor sunnuvaellen is.

In one of the cells Jesus speaks. No for realsies. Jesus leads her way. His deep tenor raises from one of the glum cells, his face half lit with moonlight tells her where she can find her man.

See...TOTALLY Jesus...

See…TOTALLY Jesus…pray for us sinners. Mostly me.

Back in the condo of condemnation with Captain Creepy, Marley & their not so comfortable guest Jamie Fraser… our hosts anxiously awaiting the lads choice of death. Damn it son…there’s no choice! I WILL NOT SURRENDER!

I will NEVER surrender!

I will NEVER surrender!

Jack ain’t even mad. In fact, he seems chipper- impressed  *eyeroll*  He wonders if Jamie will let him see his back. What a weirdo. Marley…is anyone in there?  You know what’s going on big guy?  Really…Jamie just wants Creepy to shut the hell up – actually – there is something else going on behind those baby blues.

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Captain Creepy takes a wide walk around our Jamie…wanting to feast his eyes on his back.  Reaches & gets close enough that Jamie spins and is able to grab him by the throat & exchange some words. Marley’s cerebral cortex seems to be functioning on some level and he joins in the action. The scene plays out much like it did in the book…only…this time I can super see it! Right there…on the screen. This is still freaking me out!

ofpje

I don’t know if its cool or freaky or messed up or ALL of it

Marley, doing what he thinks…well…if he does think…and not just ‘does’ what his minimal capacity base instinct of “fetch scot” gave him the inclination to do…does and he damn near kills Jamie until Captain Creepy deals Marley a good ole fashion Frantics Boot to the Head.

Slackjawed bugger looks as stupefied as…well…he is. So, we DON’T want him dead? We DO want him dead? Duh….boss….I’m so confused!

uh duh ok boss whatever you say boss

uh duh ok boss whatever you say boss

Since Marley just grunts n stares. He seems to respond to being called dog…we aren’t apt to know exactly what is going on in his big ole head.  He is ordered to get Jamie to his feet. He does. Basic obedience. It’s his jam.

This is the moment when Captain Creepy just decides…pulls this random idea out of the blue. Jamie’s hand would look better as hamburger. Grabbing his handy dandy mallet.Why the hell not? Get Marley to hold his hand & we will just smash it all to shit.   I heard people saying…why did Jamie scream so much when his hand was being crushed by a mallet but he didn’t make a sound during the flogging?

really Let’s spell this out for you.

  • 29 major and minor bones (many people have a few more).
  • 29 major joints.
  • At least 123 named ligaments.
  • 34 muscles which move the fingers and thumb:
    • 17 in the palm of the hand, and
    • 18 in the forearm.
  • 48 named nerves:
    • 3 major nerves.
    • 24 named sensory branches.
    • 21 named muscular branches.
  • 30 named arteries and nearly as many smaller named branches.

Maybe that? But I am only guessing.

seriously

PLUS…Gretel needed a sound to follow…didn’t she?  I mean Claire.

We have to cut back to the depths of that dungeon room, Captain Creepy done crushing Jamie’s hand- he is almost passed out from the pain of it. Captain has real blame issues, simply refuses to accept responsibility for his own actions  Nope- we can’t have that. CCMG wants his attention. Wakey Wakey rise n shine! Jamie wakes up alright..wakes up pretty pissed off & lunges- which turns out…excites lil creepy. This kids…is BAD TOUCHING. You know the kind that Mom told you about. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

The biggest hint that you are a disgusting human being is when another disgusting human being looks at you like this…marleygross

But no no. Even Creepy was getting too Creepy for Creepy.  He has a fantasy to uphold and he wasn’t going to ruin it for himself. No way. No how. Time to get lil creepy into check.

Charlie Sheen26
I know…Im giving him too much credit but this GIF makes me giggle

SO yeah Jamie…he is there to HELP you. Help…again…this dude’s vocabulary is so incredibly backward & disjointed…it makes my head hurt. Jamie just passes out. He is so over this. Done like dinner.

Our Claire was making her way through the hallways…hot damn how I love that woman.  Even with her desperation to find her husband, even hearing the screams, she has the wherewithal to find that door to the outside, unbolt, unlock and leave it.  I kinda wish she would have kept that bolt so she could have used it to give Captain Creepy an enema…not gonna lie. Truth is though – any weapon she would have had- would have been turned around to be used on her so good call sister!

Major reason we love Claire. S.M.A.R.T.

smartie-pants

Claire is a regular smartypants.

The moment she finds him…I find myself transported back to the first time I picked up Diana’s book. I kid you not. I don’t care one wit that all dialogue isn’t there because I still have the books if I want to read them.  I FELT THIS like I did the first time I read it.  After the second time I watched it…I felt it again…the third time…I felt it again. You know what? I was never able to get that first time reader feeling back though. That is what I love about the show & the actors bringing the pages to life. The added dimension that you get to experience over and over.

funny-gifs-that-was-fun-lets-do-it-again

OMG…that was unsettling…let’s do it again

Jamie knows she is there…and tells her to go because he knows that freak of nature is coming back. She doesn’t want to leave without him and grabs the mallet & the keys and tries to get him free- but yeah…Jamie…even in his delirium…totally right. Freakshow & his ape…are back. Claire throws some insults his way…calls him a fucking sadistic piece of shit. Which he is but he doesn’t know it because he doesn’t know what most of what she said is. Interesting concept…Black Jack Randall…invented it.

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He WAS the original fucking sadist..MIND BLOWN

Oh a little chance with a couple Redcoats bounding through the halls looking for Claire, she implores them to take her to Sir G but yeah, they are pretty terrified of Old Creepy –  because he is an Officer or because he is him. They know it ain’t right but Captain Creepy could have them there tomorrow so God Save the King and all that jazz…off they go!

Captain Creepy lets Marley get all up in Claires business, talks about seeing you next tuesday and how nope…even being as disgusting and nasty as HE is…he wouldn’t even want to watch Marley have his way with her. You can almost taste the vomit can’t you?

barf

yup…right there…in my mouth

 

Claire isn’t taking any of this. When Marley is all curled around her…the bigger they are…the harder the knee to their balls. Down he drops like the sack of shite he is. She slams CCMG into the wall and throws a chain around his neck!  WHOOOOOHOOOO You Go GIRL!

Jamie, see’s this – takes the opportunity, grabs the chair leg from the floor with what energy he has lunges and gives Marley a good old fashioned you are dead tracheotomy! BOOM!

CCMG knocks Claire ass over teakettle. Thank Ms.Fitz for bumrolls cuz that may have busted a sisters tailbone.

The hero’s can’t have the upper hand for long though. Not in this story. Not right now. Jack heaves Claire up by her throat because he is always so gentle. Jamie…gallantly screams for him to stop & offers himself to the sicko burrito if he lets her go.

It sounds good to him but nothing is cut & dried with Captain Creepy. Nope. We have to make sure you know just how much business he means.  He now pulls a rusty nail (not the drink) out of a board and drives it into Jamie’s already ruined hand & the table itself- you know just to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. Cuz, yeah, the next train leaves in 5 minutes & he might wanna hop on that.

When Creepy pulled that nail out and started that business & Jamie reached for Claire. MAN! COME ON! I have feels that I must control & you people are making it NOT EASY!

jamieclairetogether2

It was torturous. It was beautiful. It was confusing as hell to my heart & my brain.  This writing team is going to turn me into some sort of psychotic. Or some might argue keeping me on the path…

The acting. Impeccable. I believe Tobias – as Jack is a freak of nature. I believe Caitriona – as Claire is breaking piece by piece and I believe Sam – as Jamie, is in complete agony &  accepting his fate, giving up his soul to save the life of the woman he loves. These people have transformed for me.

Ugh, Creepy then went in for a kiss…yeah. A kiss…we all spit after…right along with Jamie. My hubs wasn’t happy…you know the popcorn…not good soggy.

giphy

and NO…it is NOT because it was a dude kissing a dude…it is because it was Captain Creepy kissing Jamie…in front of his wife. THAT AIN’T RIGHT!

Jamie tells Creepy to take her away.  Not wanting to go – she runs back to him- Jamie, always the hero…tells her… she must do it and tells her he loves her…calls her mo nighean donn. They Kiss…so tender like there is no pain – no hurt…only them… Then she is taken away.

nailed it

As Captain Creepy is escorting her out, he mentions he heard about the rumour of her being a witch.  Claire, never one to miss an opportunity…doesn’t JUST walk through that door, she smashed it open and breaks his damn nose with it.

witchiam

Just to prove her point to him, she says his full name, date of birth, she curses him and tells him the day he dies…for dramatic effect, whispers it in his creepy little ear.  I think he pooped a little.

I thought karma was a bitch…turns out. Black Jack Randall is…especially when you tell him news like that. He throws you out into a pit of dead folks. Not pleasant.

Taran McQuarrie made his final appearance. Dead. He still looked pretty good.  I am just thankful we don’t have smell-o-vision. That would have been gnarly.

Lucky Jamie gets Jack back.

sarcasm

Claire crawled outta a deadfolk hole & into the woods where she was supposed to find the boys.  The scene with the wolf from the book didn’t happen & you know what? OK.  Can you imagine was a nightmare that would be production wise? Time, CGI, actual wolves, poor Cait…yeah…I am not heartbroken to rely on my imagination for the rest of my life for that one.

I may not have been completely heartbroken if we never went back into the chamber of misery but noooooooooooo- right back there and in a jiffy too.

We start of with a tad bit of good intentions we do.  Captain Do Right, unchains Jamie’s ankle & gives him his word Claire is safe away. You know, that even catches in my throat as I type it. Sure…he has some honour for what sick, demented line it crosses.

post-26206-Yosemite-Sam-keeps-crossing-Bu-vFRB

Yeah, it takes him all of 20 seconds to cross said line.  He tears open Jamies shirt to view his…masterpiece. Seriously. He is touching Jamie’s back like it’s a sheet of braille and he is reading it FFS! If it says anything Captain Creepy….it says you are one sick MoFo!  Now…CCMG doesn’t just cross lines…he takes said line…kicks it a few feet…then jumps the hell over it.

I am pretty sure if you wandered into the Le Louvre and started licking the Mona Lisa…your ass would get kicked out. Captain Creepy…you have graduated to Captain Cracked. That is NOT a masterpiece…YOU are not an artist… Jamie’s back is NOT a canvas.  Would someone please find Mentalmarvin a straight jacket and put us out of our misery?

During this. Let me say. One tear. That’s right. One tear.

Tobias goes to some pretty dark & diabolical places…Sam as an actor will have to go to some pretty weakened states as a person. I imagine…one maybe almost fun for some actors to do. Let’s face it…to be given permission to go to the darkest places in us, maybe invent those places & play with them.  Now for Sam, to be exposed in that way – to  allow someone to go to those dark places – and then direct them AT us.  That’s a pretty vulnerable place to go. It’s a pointed struggle for a woman to do it. She would also have more sympathisers I would think- a man…it would go against every ounce of every fiber of every thing in their being.  I think you can see if pretty clearly… in that tear.

thetear

Thank whoever you are thanking that they cut to Claire in the woods. It was too intense in that there tear!

We get to McRannock’s joint- he is the fella  who gave Ellen the pearls. You know the sexy time pearls Jamie put around Claire’s neck on their wedding night & made love….*sigh*…never mind. I had to go there for a moment. It was a happy place.

You know something. Jamie’s mom…had it going on! Murtagh…McRannock…the dude she embarrassed that ran off in the night when she took off to marry Brian…and of course, Brian. McRannock isn’t convinced completely that he will be helping them, he ended up married with bairns of his own and well…he would do a lot for Ellen’s lad but get himself killed..and put his family in danger, might be a bit much aye?

36-yeah-no-text

It’s at this time a drunken sot comes in & McRannoch loses his nut on him. Murtagh goes to see whats up their craws and gets the “Murtagh’s face is gonna crack” look. You know…cuz it’s smilin so wide.

Seems…when there are kine…better known as cows in Canada…that means Murtagh transforms into Scottish MacGyver & we now have an escape plan for Jamie.

moose

If we can lend you some moose – they can disguise themselves. Highland coo’s aren’t so different…well if you squint…close your eyes and yeah…maybe they are.

Yes…we have seen the previews. We have 2 wks. until  Nekkid Randall…as enticing as Nekkid Gramma…but we are ready. We used to need drool buckets, we have exchanged them for barf buckets.

…and then once that is over…it won’t just be a droughtlander—We will be #WithOutLander…but we will survive! TOGETHER  with out fellow #NUTLANDERS!

 

SL – the ABOotlander on Ativan