Outlander BedtimeStories. #Hubservations while I am his Audiobook

Our first round of Bedtimes stories started because of the initial Droughtlander and my husband’s inability to wait for anything. Like ANYTHING – when he knows the answer is right there.  I only have to tell him.  He really enjoyed the TV show & knew the books were out there – however not being a reader – there was a problem…unless he could get someone to read them to him. WELL GEE!

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I’d be THRILLED to…like really!

#BedtimeStories were born.  Sometimes I read and he is silent & enjoys. Sometimes, he is contemplative. Sometimes there are tears or laughter. Often…smart ass comments erupt from him. As I read “Jamie gingerly….blah de blah Claire blah.”  He pipes up with “Doesnt he do EVERYTHING gingerly?  Get it?”  Yeah MasterDad joker, I get it.

I stopped keeping my phone in my room at night around A Breath of Snow & Ashes so I haven’t tweeted his witty remarks as they come.  They are jotted down in a note book…maybe slightly illegible but we’ll wait till we are done reading Written in My Own Hearts Blood to do that shall we?

If you have NOT read the books. Stop reading now.  Hubbychilds comments are SPOILERS.  Not just little spoilers…BIG WHOPPING RUIN YOUR OUTLANDER EXPERIENCE SPOILERS!  If you havent read the books…and you read ANY further than this line. It is your own damn fault. You made a choice and it was probably the wrong one. So…with that being said, you are not allowed to leave comments or send me DMs scolding me for throwing spoilers out to the world.  Just because the cookies are there…didn’t mean you had to eat them.

The following hubservations are from Voyager on up to a piece of  A Breath of Snow & Ashes.  So again, I warn you. SPOILERS ARE AHEAD.  Can you tell someone has smacked my nose with a newspaper over this before? Uh-huh.

As we closed the pages of Dragonfly In Amber…my husband made an interesting observation.  For the record…Me…Diana…and Caitriona…and any other girl person in a Disney movie (thats fairly recent so it might be an age thing)

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This was more than a couple years ago now…so…the list is longer
We pick up somewhere in Voyager.

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Lover of the craziness. Explains a lot eh?

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Sometimes I wondered if he read ahead on me…and then…reality
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I wasn’t afraid of dreaming it…why should he be?

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Seriously.  I hate when he guesses right & I have to NOT yell it at him
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Its like Claires own version of Rock, paper, scissors. 

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Its a pretty specific Canadian reference there folks…them Newfoundlanders. LOVE.
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I only laughed because…it was funny.

You know…my sweet hubbychild has always been a little jealous of Jamie.  Calling him my boyfriend etc.  I have compiled some of his comments throughout storytime…enjoy.

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He really did say that…I was there. 

Lets take a look at what he thought during Drums of Authumn shall we?  

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He’s pretty???
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My husband was a chef in the military…he had 2 bears (different times &locations) jump onto his kitchen trailer…both times…he screamed like a girl and ran out the back door.  Like a smart man would. 
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Saying it might have got him a smack.

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Uh-huh…I’m SURE that is what he meant.  He didn’t. 

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The “Willies a lil snot” chronicles…by my husband

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I think he has a HUGE point here…HUGE…biggest point ever…not like any other point. 

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He’s a fan of dirty lady mouths…since you know…his wife has one. 
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This is the moment…everyone was yelling the same thing at Jamie…UGH. Men! 

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You may be able to tell…my husband doesn’t like it when people don’t communicate.  He notices a common theme with Claire. 

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At least he knows the character well enough to know…Drinking helps. A lot.

 

There is one character over all the others my husband feels bad for…its poor wee Rog. It sure entertains me to listen to him yak about him. And he has a face now. Richard Rankin…we adore you. We feel sorry for you…but we adore you. 

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I believe its an accurate assumption…don’t you???

 

I know you probably feel like meh…this is good. I read enough. I don’t need to hear her husbands ramblings any more…but…since I planned to write this all out…I’m doing it.  Feel free to bookmark this and come back later to finish up…

 

but I am powering through this!

 

We are at Fiery Cross…you know the one. No…let my hubbychild remind you. FC001

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Sometimes he says stuff that he KNOWS he is going to get smacked for…but yet…he continues.  Never letting fear or common sense stop him.

 

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Yes…all the characters get their own voice.  Im a method reader

 

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Jimbo=Jamie…in case you missed his disdain for his perceived perfection

 

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He is a dad…and over 40…its a part of their evolution apparently.

 

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I think it botherth him…tho I keep doing it.

 

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I am always like COME ON!  I didn’t pick up on half this shit when I read the 1st time

 

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Now you see why I like him…his mind lives in the same gutter as mine

 

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He loves the numerous back from the dead stories

 

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hashtag combustakid

 

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Things he asked that I don’t have the answers to.

 

Last…but not least we end with a bit of A Breath of Snow & Ashes.

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I think thats an appropriatly inappropriate spot to stop.

You gotta love the guy…

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Until next week…

I’m Sher…ABOotlanders Founder

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FAILANDER! Resolutions gone horribly wrong in the world of Outlander.

Naturally, us Heughliots can’t let any kind of event pass without throwing in our twisted two cents.  Even though we don’t use pennies in Canada anymore. We don’t, we ain’t lyin’…Google that.

2012-Canadian-Penny-and-Circulation-Roll

Who really makes resolutions that  don’t turn into disasters? Yeah…that’s exactly what we thought too. SO, why should our larger-than-life, super awesome characters in Outlander be any different right? RIGHT?

Yeah…let’s get this puck on the ice!

Type as fast as ya think!

Let’s start with everyone’s favourite villain. BJR. Big Jerk Randall.

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He thought he would try to be a better person. Thought he could go that extra mile to be a kinder, gentler soul. He thought he could be more personable. My mother *Rest her Soul* used to have a saying. “You thought you farted but you shit yourself.”  That is about right for BJR and his resolution. JUST you wait and dig into our next 8 episodes! You will almost wish Droughtlander lasted a little longer when you see some of this stuff!

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#GoodGuyFAIL

Claire. Our sweet soberphobic, getting ClaireDrunk, always with the check liver meter…Claire.

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Naturally she thought it would be a good idea to lay off the booze. Ha…ha…hahahahaha!

Oh lawd...that's rich. RICH I tell ya

The liquor refill light went on after about 15 minutes. The poor lassie was sank…sunk…drunk.

#EPICOnTheWagonFAIL

       #EPICOnTheWagonFAIL

You wouldn’t think a witch would want to give up anything would you? However, Geillis was finding herself a bit too dependent on the herbs. She does not get that crazy ass look in her eye for no reason people.

Legal in Canada. Shhhh

Legal in Canada. Shhhh

C’mon! That lasted about as long as Arthurs next bout of flatulence – she had to use something to clear the air. It was the most potent kind of smoke around.

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#BuzzFAIL

Iona McTavish. No she wasn’t a major player in the Outlander world but you all know how important she is to us.  This lady resolved to get a new damned dress for the next gathering. How insulting of Mrs.Fitz!diana fitz Then she realized, SHE still fit into HER dress. HA! She would show them (Read, Mrs.Fitz)  and STILL fit into it at the NEXT gathering as well. BEASTLY woman!

#FEKITNotaFAIL

#FEKITNotaFAIL

Everyone loves them some good ole Rupert. Rupert is cuddly, soft, bearded, Angus’ best friend and Dougal’s right hand man. He wants to be more independent though. Wants to explore the world of Rupert. Find himself.

That’s Right.

Damned if he ended up under yet another juicy hen though. He doesn’t seem to mind. It is his happy place!

#GetLuckyFAIL

#GetLuckyFAIL

Our Dougal vowed to try and make his way out of Doucheville this year. Hmmmm.  We admit, with all the punching out his friends and hitting on his new niece-in-law, he was getting fair comfortable there. The start of his resolution he went on a wee trip out of Doucheville. However, we are afraid he took a wrong turn and ended up in Arseton.

Look out for holes Dougal!
Look out for holes Dougal!

 

#DIRECTIONFAIL

#DIRECTIONFAIL

The beasts are never safe with Angus around.

They shake in his presence. He decided that enough was enough. He would be sure  to stay outta the barns and leave them to their feed. Instead..he ended up too far into his cups one eve and found himself some bigger boots to hold ’em still…sheep

Yes, it must be why zippers were invented. So the wee beasties could hear them comin’…

OMFAIL

#OldMacDonaldFAIL EiEiOOOOOOOO

 

Laoghaire. We aren’t going to play the mean girl card and call her leghair or lo’whore or any of those other mean names people call her…SO rude!

She is just one failed resolution after another failed resolution. Since she was a wee hussy…I mean lassie. She has vowed to get tapped by JAMMF, why should this year be any different?  She resolved to do the same. Yet, she asked for help from the wrong herbnerd didn’t she? Ended up with a handful of horseshit.

Yup. She sure has a purdy mouf.

Yup. She sure has a purdy mouf.

She will keep trying though…stay tuned. Grumble Grumble.

#StinkyFAIL

#StinkyFAIL

We have gotten used to Mrs Fitz stealing the screen. Whether it’s greeting the boys when they return home, telling men of the cloth where to put their holy water, insulting great authors, or smacking errant visitors around (dream sequences or no – that shit freaked a lot of people out! It’s funny NOW)

We like Mrs.Fitz who keeps our blood pressure in check

We like Mrs.Fitz who keeps our blood pressure in check

She has obviously resolved to rule with an iron fist. We’d say she has done it – maybe she’ll try an iron pot next.

We do hope you realize that there are a lot of viewers with heart conditions or that are just wound extra tight (View most FB groups, it will take you seconds to spot them)…let’s not do anymore of that crazy stuff again. Stay the hero aye? I’m not sure WHO I’m talking to anymore…either way…that’s a random.dsw

 

Poor, Poor Jamie. His resolution is all about self preservation. JAMMF is really tired of getting his arse whooped. I mean wouldn’t you be? Go picking hay, run back to the house, get your ass whooped. Go to hall to watch…get your ass whooped. Sit around a fire eating some dinner, get your ass whooped. Go to prison…super get get your ass wholloped.

Don't you wanna just take him home and make it aaaaall better?

Don’t you wanna just take him home and make it aaaaall better?

He just wants to stop getting his ass handed to him whenever he turns around. BUT BUT BUTT.…He doesn’t get very far does he, the wee bugger?

Everyone has to wait for Wentworth to see….that’s a

#SuperDooperPooperEpicFAIL

#SuperDooperPooperEpicFAIL

There is the man that it all started with Frank Randall, he is the resolution king!  He is firm in his belief he WILL find his wife. She is out there somewhere.  He has beat himself up so much this year over her loss. Should he have paid more attention to her? She did, after all, disappear from right under his nose…he sure liked having her under his nose. He looked downtown and he looked uptown…He would not stop looking!frank

 

Oh Frank. This is NOT your year buddy. Just saying, and I don’t think things are gonna get much better. For a while. SPOILER. We are supposed to say that first aren’t we? Nuts.

#SearchFAIL

#SEARCHFAIL

 

Just so you are aware. There is no way I am making any resolutions. I am far too smart for that. I don’t set myself up for failure.

What us Heughliots do…we try our very best to be better people than we were yesterday…and we do that, everyday.

Being Kind is SEXY. Maybe creepy sexy but we don't mind. RAWR

Being Kind is SEXY. Maybe creepy sexy but we don’t mind. RAWR

We think that is the answer to having a better year. See? We aren’t just pretty faces. We are pretty friggen smart too!

What do you all think? Yes…of us being smart. No, ya wankers. Of resolutions or not…

This has been brought to you by us!

SL, Heughliot @Large

and the Grand Poobah  tlmfarmgirl with lots of support and a dram from @janzen77– she’s the pretty one.