Plan B. Freedom & Whisky in the memes.

I had a delightful blog outlined and ready to roll when my face fell off.  Ok… not the whole thing but half of it.   I have the lovely facial paralysis called Bells Palsy.  The week leading up to the final bell ringer was poop…serious poop…so I’m taking the easy way out.

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I decided to simply go back into my Live Tweet Feed and give you time in my brain.  No worries, its short, silly and all round ridiculous.  You aren’t supposed to think or feel.  Just mind numbingly come along on the silly ride train I have loaded up.

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Our opening scene is Claire being her badass self. As per. 

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This group could not look anymore bored if they tried.  Which I enjoy cuz…me+school = THAT

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That moment of a lecture you know you still dont give one shit…or two.

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They had ALMOST as much garland in that house as mine did when I was a kid.  It was like a sparkly tinfoil monster had its way with everything!

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Mmmmmmm….resin.

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Some of the best advice uttered.  Make your own fate people. #JoeFresh #theMan

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Drink together, share secrets, rinse, repeat. 

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Gotta love it when your friends see the drape fall. 

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Claire knows a lot of the things…drinking…definitely top 5.

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Its always better with friends. 

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It’s all the same. Girls with spirit. 

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It really is a skill she has. 

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Dem bonz…dem bonz 

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Our Roger is just too perfect for words.  Beardiful is a good one though. 

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So many choices….good thing we have YEARS to play them out. 

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Ok, maybe Candy’s practical joke game was off.  Oh…Sandy…aheam

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Its such a shame when people can own their own shit. 

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Let’s be fair…every forecast…every day.

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Of course she can sew….don’t be silly

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The 80s floating head picture…thats what I saw…touching still. 

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BOOM! There she is.  Loved this transition SO SO SO much

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If you did not turn into a big pile of goo…you are dead inside.

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All the feels…allofthemall

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That’s ok Claire.  You are a doctor…you can put him together again.

Thanks for playing folks.

Take care of you and BE KIND!  Join us on twitter #OutlanderCAN – watching each week on W Network.

Sher

AKA ABOtlanders Founder

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Let’s talk about sex baby. “Surrender” was all about letting go!

I am sure if you have watched episode 2 of season 3 for Outlander you are quite aware there seemed to be as much sex in it as there was in season 2.  That should have topped ya all up.

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Do you think I am sexy baby? No? 

I get it…season 2 was NOT sexy.  Stillbirths, starvation, war….not foreplay in the making.  Season 3 however…the lovin’ was stong in “Surrender”

All the sex wasn’t shown, all the sex wasn’t with someone else or even completed but we are going to talk about it anyway. Why? Why focus on the sex? Because it was more than that…just like in real life.  The way two people communicate often involves their bodies. Whether it be with love, need, desire, anger or pure hatred.  Sex can be an expression of any of those.

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The first sex scene we were treated to was with Claire. Taking things into her own hands so to speak.  We know Claire is sexually advanced to societies expectation – which makes perfect sense concidering she was a woman who always pushed the boundaries in each time she existed in.  In this moment, fantasizing about the man she loves and pleasing herself seemed as natural as breathing.  Frank, asleep and oblivious was not as important to me. Part of me thought any hot blooded man, who hasn’t gotten some in a while, would recognize that heavy breath and pay very close attention.  In my mind, Frank did in fact wake…he just was super polite and just let her finish up.

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Fooled ya…

The second winka winka scene, brings us back to the Claire/Frank marriage bed.  This time, Claire looking a million miles away but still managing to reach out and poke him in the face to wake him up.  Ok…she brushed her fingers across his cheek.  He asks her “What is it.” She responds “I miss my husband.”  Which, lets be honest here, she isn’t lying.  She really misses her husband.  The red headed one, the one she dreams about. Frank will just ignore that for now. Cuz a man woken in the middle of the night with an invitation to the pleasure highway, generally will pay the assigned toll.

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Most of the time anyway

Claire sure wanted to scratch a lot of itches getting back to being who she used to be.  The third sex scene was anti- climactic.  Literally.

Claire does a little dance for Frank, removing her knickers (you couldn’t call those billowy things panties even if you wanted to), again, feeling the need to get out of what you know she feels mundane.  If she has to walk in these slippers, she wants them to have some heels. So she seduces Frank.  Who is totally into it, until he tries to connect with her emotionally.  The eyes are the windows to the soul and Claire has hers firmly SHUT.  He pleads with her to open her eyes and she basically ignores him, because she isn’t with him.

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How ’bout this Frank? Do you think I’m sexxxxxy???

She has a desire to escape and he is not heeding it by reminding her. Reality is, it is Frank she is having sex with not making love to Jamie. He stops. He has had enough.  It is one thing to have sex half asleep and ignore it but he is full on awake and totally gets it.

We notice when Claire gets SUPER angry when confronted with the truth.   She either throws ashtrays or she buggers off and seethes.  It is vastly different from the Claire who is motivated by her anger.  When she knows she is right, she turns that anger into action…when she is called on her shit she lashes out and shuts down.

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HURMPH!

Our fourth sex scene happens between a very broken man and a woman who simply wishes to be a balm in his life.  Also…she gets to have sex with Jamie, so there is that.  I heard a lot of people upset that we had to see Claire have sex with Frank but they didn’t make us “see” it with Jamie and Mary.  Here is my take.  You have already seen Frank and Claire have the sexy time in episode one, season one.  This isn’t a completely foriegn concept to us.  Jamie with anyone but Claire…going to take a bit more getting used to.

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Plus, I think after being in a cave for 6 yrs…he erupted after about 2 seconds…maybe….just maybe…he was a bit quick on the uptake and you DID see it all. The way I see it…watching Mary and Jamie have sex probably wouldn’t be so sexy.  I mean, they were both super skinny due to poor living conditions.  It might have been super distracting having two people that sounded like someone playing yatzee as opposed to having sex. Bones banging against one another – not so erotic eh?

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Nope…not even a little in the sexy department

This episode is the sexcircle of life.  Frank is Claire’s Jamie….Mary is Jamies Claire…round and round we go.

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Maybe we aren’t as connected in the sex circle…but you get my meaning.

Orgasm is an escape.  A surrender, so to speak.  It is a healthy way to treat the bodies wounds as it serves to be a bridge to the soul.

So have an orgasm today! Alone or with someone.  It is all good for you.

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Join us while we watch Outlander on Sundays via W Network! There is live tweet action and aftershow chat happening on the twitter., using the hashtag #OutlanderCAN

Sher

ABOotlander Founder

 

 

Look OUT-lander! 4 more sleeps!!!

We have been withoutlander for ever…I won’t even say how long because anyone reading this…just knows!  It is moments like these I envy those who JUST binged watched on Netflix and you know…had to wait a WHOLE week.

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It feels like Christmas Eve, Birthday blowout and the satisfaction of an afternoon nap all wrapped up in one.  The thirst from Droughtlander is about to be quenched and we suggest you drink it all in!

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I am one of those wee nutters that has been a book fan you know…a long ass time, and like many of those on the Porpoise with me – Voyager is definitely a favourite. There are many stand out scenes in this book that all the bodies on all the interwebs are discussing…planning…wanting more than Frank wants to be understood.

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Some love me, some…not so much. I don’t get it.

Here are my top…GOTTA SEE THAT moments…and really, if I don’t – I won’t be angry or feel cheated because I have replayed them in my minds eye a thousand times. Ok..so this is a more IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF I GOT TO SEE…

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Alllll my expectations…there ya go!

  1. All the people seeing Claire back in their bubbles.  Ian Sr. (the witty as hell) Steven Cree has always been one of my favourite understated characters in the book.  After watching this guy on twitter over the break…well…I am just anxious to see them on the same screen again.  Plus you know the DRAMA of her seeing…yeah…you KNOW what I am talking about.   Unless you haven’t read the book then… just you wait.
  2. Lord John Grey falling in love.  I am not a shipper but I might just hop on the Fraygrey train. Cuz…I mean…for real.  It’s going to be a thing.
  3. Captain Caveman!  Do I need more words than this?

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    I dunno…it kinda looks dunbonnety

  4. Bitches be CRAZY!  There is a megastorm of unhappy lady moments in this season & I can not wait to see it go down.  Old characters from seasons past…popping up and blowing our ever lovin minds…new characters blooming into fan favourites or – you know, the kind harrassed on social media because HOW COULD THEY choose this occupation and bring these moments to life for us. PSA- Actor/esses are doing a job.  Do not tell them how to if you do not sign their paycheck.
  5. Sunny Beaches.  We are going to see some beach bodies this season.  You know what makes for a great beach body?  Having a body and putting it on the beach.  We know that the Outlander crew was in South Africa which will be doubling as Jamaica – and those Jamaica scenes will be intense.

If you have ZERO idea what I am talking about and have an itch to- You might, wanna, just… you know, grab the book or read a synopsis real quick like.https://media.giphy.com/media/3o72F6M8ALSDfzyXJK/giphy.gif

Naturally printshop, MrWeeB and his bird (or not), Helwater n ALL that not so sweetness, turtle soup, Mamacita, lushy preist, buggy guy, Fergus 2.0, Ian Jr., Joe n Claire, Frank n Brianna and Roooooooooooger are all in there too.  What do you think?  Can they squish it all in?

Yeah.  It’ll fit.

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get….in….

Lets get ready to stumble! Those in Canada, watch on W Network this year.  The ABOotlanders will NOT be live tweeting during the airing but WILL be discussing it on twitter after the episode airs…and you know…once our breathing is all back to normal n stuff.https://media.giphy.com/media/kX5PgtsPLL31u/giphy.gif

Sunday…Sunday…Sunday.

We have waited a million years so 5 more days…ain’t nothing!

 

Sher

 

A very Merry UN-Birthday to the Reason Outlander LIVES!

Jan 11th is a big day in the world of the Outlander fan. Why?  Because it was the day the one, the only, Diana Gabaldon was born. Yep, much against popular belief, she wasn’t delivered from angels or brought down by the Gods…she was born…like most of us. Yes, I said most.  I am not convinced some of you weren’t hatched or aren’t some sort of pod people. Just saying.

Oh…and if you are offended by that last comment. Hello there, pod person, who was hatched.podperson

I  must say I have a really hard time picturing Diana as a baby. In my minds eye, she must always have been speaking in complete sentences…diapers? Pfffft! Not this baby Gabaldon, she was “not” hovering over the potty before she could could say “publish me”. It simply…did…not…happen.

Yes…THIS simply makes much more sense in my brain…**GIGGLES**

 

For those who have had Diana in our worlds a long time. Like 20 plus years, a long time.  She has become a part of our vernacular. People get “Gabaldoned” – Personally I like to say “gabalDON’T do you do it” when they seem to take it upon them self to try to school Diana on how she should or shouldn’t do her work…life or business.  As far as I’m concerned, you open yourself for a little verbal ass kickin’ when you do this. By Diana or anyone else on the planet if you are rude enough to play that douche roulette.  She becomes a part of our homes & jewelry boxes .  We have dragon flies decorating our homes, Claire rings on our fingers, we have JAMMF licence plates, we have paintings of standing stones and taken trips to Scotland, when in many cases, those trips weren’t in our minds until a nurse on the pages of a book travelled there herself.

Today is NOT January the 11th. Today is January the 9th!  Us Heughliots don’t follow many rules.

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Rule Breakers of the World. Unite.

 

We know Diana loves Disney.  So do many of us (ahem…me…I am turning the rest…so…)

This is a VERY MERRY UNbirthday to Diana!

Let us all sit around for a little cup of tea…well some can have tea…Diana – here is a Diet Coke…

one for you

I’ll grab a shot of something not tea or coke.

one for me…ok…4 for me. Don’t count. That’s rude.

 

Here is our UNBirthday Message to Diana…perhaps we will be lucky enough for her to see it.macadmsa laugh

We have all heard & experienced the way she has influenced lives with her books & her words. We get to enjoy the new fans experiencing them for the first time now.  We get to watch the world that was created on the page come to life on screen & that too, is THRILLING! It is like the best UNBirthday present ever. She have given us ALL a gift. One that just has kept giving and giving and giving.  *whispers to all the ladies* You all see the video of Sam….sweating…running…and sweating….Yeah….thank Diana! Ultimately…NONE of that…NONE…without this woman.

We truly have no way we can thank Diana for ALL of the gifts she has given us.  Going back to the very first word she has written, to the last one put to the keyboard that we haven’t had the pleasure of seeing. THERE ARE NO WORDS BIG ENOUGH. NO FONT BOLD ENOUGHNO ITALIC LICY ENOUGH…to express our gratitude.

We joke all the time about being #Cracklanders with a severe addiction. In truth, Diana was our first supplier.  The one that said “Pssst, here…try this…just read a couple pages…you’ll like it.”

Like it we did.  Never getting enough but waiting anxiously. Like we said before…we are ok…Kinda

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May this UNbirthday be filled with all the joy, love & un-aging that the last 62 have blessed you with Diana!

Much Love, the Heughliots of AB

 

Sher – Heughliot @Large