10 times! You pricked my what with your what?

We have made it into the DOUBLE DIGITS my people! 10 Episodes in & wowsers numero ten-o was a TEN alright. This is a whole lotta awesome jam packed into one episode…I like it like that.

whose awesome

Everyone involved in the production of OUTLANDER! THAT’S WHO!

First they start the episode with a cockin of a pistol…uh-huh. I know most people missed that lil reference. Me however – I never miss a cocking. Then *phew*  was it hot in there or was it just me?

Girl...So hawt. Tres hawt.

Girl…So hawt. Tres hawt.

Claire. Claire. Claire. It seems…Wheaties ain’t got nothing on you. You. Are The Breakfast Of Champions! (Well at least one champion we all know & love) Breakfast-of-Champions Talk about starting your morning off with a bang. Oh wait…they didn’t quite make it that far did they? THANKS Murtagh!  Seems  Murtagh “SceneStealingEyeBrowRaisin’SexyTimeInterrupting” Fraser just does not know when to stop knockin so others can continue knockin.(boots that is). At least Jamie had the decency to finish the job he started before answering the door. Finished it diligently & thoroughly. According to the sounds  Claire was making, quite loudly. Those doors…must be pretty damn thick, or Murtagh hasn’t cleaned the shit outta his ears in quite some time if he didn’t pick up on her satisfactory tones. There must have been at least once in Murtagh’s life he encountered a very sexually satisfied woman, because he recognized pretty quick when he saw it laying in bed. He had the where with all to at least look a bit abashed at the interruption. That last all of about a microsecond.  Murtagh wastes no time! Being Jamie’s own personal town crier he let him know what was up. The Dink of Sandwiches…hmmm…nope…Dude of Boysaks…nope… Oh right. Duke of Sandringham,

This might help ring your Dukely Bell

This might help ring your Dukely Bell

(The last guess was pretty close -Just saying *ahem*) is in the area so now is the time to try and get Jamie off the hook for the murder of the English dragoon. That everyone knows Creepy Captain Jackoff Randall killed- not Jamie. Claire’s tingle factor has gone down substantially now that Murtagh & his eyebrows have entered the room. She has started hearing the chatter & remembering her previous life. She is not inclined to let Jamie trust Duke BootyHammer, no way no how! She lets the fellas know its because Creepy n Booty are in bed together…well…now there’s a thought isn’t it? *shudder* ancestor-sleep Jamie takes off w Murtagh to talk to Ned “iknoweverything” Gowan. At first he’s like “This is hopeless give it up”…but NO I am the great and powerful Neddie Can DO, I can fix anything you can screw up.  Murtagh of course just want to hand out a hanging. Why not? If one person would look good with a rope neck tie…it’s Creep Master General! Chances are he would be using it for something kinky though. Don’t digress like I just did, the visuals ARE disturbing. Claire, left to her own devices for a while means BIZNEZ! She is not letting Laoghaire leave nasty shit under HER bed. Nu-uh! At first Laoghaire “WHO ME?” MacKenzie plays blonde and pretends she has no idea what Claire is getting at with the ill wish but she can’t hold onto the mental stability table for long. One of the table legs give out from under her as soon as Claire says “He’s just not into you.”

tantrum

SNAP! Spoiled girl goes CRAYCRAY

That sends Loose Laoghaire straight over the castle walls and into the dismal mean girl zone. Declaring that Jamie is hers, always was hers & ONE DAY WILL BE AGAIN. Book fans all over the globe groan. Yeah…because we know she isn’t all that insane after all, is she now?  Then she hits Claire below the belt. Saying Jamie must have to get himself drunk in order to hit the sheets with her cold english ass. Claire does not take this lightly and bitch slaps her. Pretty sure I heard cheers all the way from my newfie friends.  Not sure why but Claire apologized – I thought a throat punch may have been more effective. Ummm…that was my outside voice wasn’t it? That’s gonna get me in trouble one day. Again.   Then just when Claire felt bad for smacking the spoilt wee nit, LooseLips Laoghaire keep flappin her gums & tells her the only “friend” in the world she has is the one that sold her the illwish in the first place. Way to go Geillis. How’s that knife feel Claire, buddy ole pal? Deep enough for ya?

Awww somebody just got hurt real bad. Not cool.

Awww somebody just got hurt real bad. Not cool.

Claire, never one to leave well enough alone, goes in search of Geillis. She finds F’arthur instead. In serious agony with rumblies in his tumblies. She passes along some medicine to his maid before he orders her to be gone. The maid however passes a little message to Claire that Geillis will be in the woods just before dawn if she really wants to meet her. Won’t be anything weird about that will there?

It wasn’t weird- per say. Mystical. Voyeuristic. Mesmerizing.  I couldn’t pull my eyes away. The wee squeaks, moans & panting sounds the witch was making…because no one in their right mind can deny it now. Girlfriend. She IS a witch. (If if dances like a witch, chants like a witch & blows smoke like a witch…it’s a damn witch). Honestly, I felt more dirty watching her with her arcorns than I did while Jamie was having his breakfast.

peek

So uncomfortable. Must watch!

That, my friends, is a stunning testament to Lotte VerBeeks acting ability. She KILLED that scene. Along with a few people…(that to come). I really enjoyed the editing as well, Claire seeing the druid dancers flashing back with Geillis. Cool trick bro.

The dialogue between Claire and Geillis after her ummm…summonsing was – entertaining. Acting like this was the most normal thing she could have been up to and Claire looking at her like. You KNOW you are cracked right? But…you’re my only friend…kinda…MAN I am SO desperate for friends I will even take the likes of YOU!

Geillis, thank goodness packed some clothes, I was worried she was going to contract a case of nipplitis that not even Claire could cure. In case you are wondering. Nipplitis. TOTALLY a thing. Serious condition here in Canada. Many women suffer from this, such a tragedy.alanis-morissette-humps-o

That coat she was wearing. Pure genius on the part of Terry & friends in the costume department. Read about it here. Super cool. She looks like someone who had just rolled off the crazy faery hillside. They mended all their fences, Geillis fed Claire some bullshit story that she didn’t know the ill wish was for her *cough* yeah right *cough*. Since she knew the illwish was a bunch of pussywillows & sticks all wrapped up with string, it didn’t matter at all to her anyway. It was just like when Claire gave the stupid little girl a vile of horse poop. You see, they are connected those two. They walk through the woods, they chat, or Geillis gossips, about Dougal, his ugly wife. Her words not mine. Gifts she has been given, their love, their baby.

Then we hear…a baby. They both hear it but only one of them cares.  3 guesses…first 2 don’t count! Claire wants to go to the crying baby & Geillis explains to her that its a Faery hill & even though SHE is the one dressed for the event, neither of them should go ANYWHERE near that damned hill! Those parents left that baby there on purpose so the faeries could give their healthy baby back that they stole from them & take that sick faery back. You know, weird shit like that.  Silly superstitious nonsense & Claire knew it.   Claire also knew the baby was just not thriving and probably could get better…maybe could. Geillis was like..”Screw You… after I just blew all that smoke up your ass about being my friend and how you could get me burnt at the stake…nope you are on your own – I am out! Later!”

Geillis's cat stunt double

Geillis’s cat stunt double

Claire, once again on her own & traipsing through the woods, lost & alone. She REALLY should stop doing this. It never ends well. Like. EVER.  She hears some ragged coughs a few gasps of breath…the crying stops. Never a good sign.  A few moments later closer to the top of the hill there is a huge tree w a small bundle. This just ain’t right. Nothing about this is right. She takes the bundle from the tree. We all know what she finds isn’t good. The baby is dead and there isn’t anything she can do for it. She does what we many would do. Sits down & grieves for it. drowning

More feels. They take over.  Then the man on the horse shows up. Jamie.  Damn, he rides in and so much becomes better. He speaks so gently to her.  Even though she holds such venom for the superstitions that have taken this babies life. Jamie was raised with them…he is able to explain it to her without sounding ignorant. Giving her comfort too. *BIG SIGH*  His voice & demeanor is like a massive HUG to the soul. JAMIE IS A SOUL HUG! I like it…I like it a lot. #SoulHugMoment.  My favourite part of this moment was when Claire looked in Jamie’s eyes and asked him to take her HOME.

home

We then we come to the reading & signing of THE DOCUMENT! The petition of complaint. You know the one. The one that will go down in history. Claire knows it, I see the hesitancy on her face because she knows how Frank pours over documents like this. As soon as her signature is there then…BOOM. So is she.

We get to meet the Duke next & surprise! Claire is doing stuff she shouldn’t be doing but OH she should. Sticking her nose in where it shouldn’t be…but OH it should.  Testing the waters so to speak.  This is because Claire is from another time.  No wallflower is she.  She is putting hers firmly on the table with the Duke.  Don’t screw with me dude! Your balls…are mine.

Considering he is used to dealing with men or boys…*ahem*…he isn’t quite sure how to deal with this one. So he hands over his set to her…for now. Let’s just say. ball collector

Back to the castle we go to watch one hell of a performance by Graham McTavish. Seriously Dougal. Go home…you’re drunk. Oh wait, you were home…kinda. Turns out, Geillis’s summonsing turned out to be pretty darned effective and Dougal’s wife caught a fever and boom, within days. Died. Dougal taken over by…not sure its grief or guilt got blithering drunk & went postal in the Great Hall.  Colum – is not a happy camper.  He sent out the fella’s to find Claire to mix up one of her sedatifs *wink* to settle him the hell down.angustoger

Dougal put on quite a show. Hollering & fighting anyone that got in his way. Crying about his poor dead wife, Maura, ummm…talking about how no one would have found her attractive – even a blind dude – but that she still didn’t deserve him. Yeah, point taken buddy. Angus, spry & smart, gathered up Claires sleeping potion. Enough to fell a horse apparently – cuz it did, into a bottle of port & gave cheers to Dougal’s dead wife encouraging Dougal to drink more, he did…then…TIMBER – down went the big man- not in the good way.  Only took 6 of ’em to carry him out of the hall.

Geillis & Claire meet in the courtyard. Geillis is giddy her handy work was effective. Claire is thinking shes crazy- it was just a coincidence & besides you still have a husband remember? We get the GeillisGiggle. Only…it isn’t very funny is it?

Back to the Duke’s. Look who is in trews? Yup, Jamie.  Our hero knows when he has to guard his back door doesn’t he?  I mean…sure Murtagh is there but you can never be too careful can you?

The tete & tete & tete between them was…interesting and down right comical at times. The Duke touching Murtagh, it was like you could see it on his face he wanted to go & wash in the nearest trough or punch him in the nearest throat. *snort*. Having Jamie take part in the dual with him as his second for his scrubbing of his back. GREAT way to implement the story & HAHAHA! LOVED it.

There has been sooooo much speculation in the fandom since that dual clip came out & EVERYONE knew exactly what it was of course. Naturally NO ONE knew…this was BRILLIANT. Again. LOVE what they did. Not because I HAVE to but because it was SMART! The way the Duke petted Jamie’s face…his reaction. This was just awesome.

murtagh

The Duke was apparently getting his fingers on everyone in the room 😛

SO much happened in the episode it was kinda epic really. The Great Hall was next & this is where…it didn’t take a summonsing. Geillis was done with F’Arthur. It was time his show came to a close…it was time for his grande finale!  It was a huge dinner in honour of the Duke and cyanide was F’Arthurs main course.  When he went down – Geillis pushed her chair back and let him – watched in silence – let Claire take care of business, pulled out a newspaper & cigarette…ok…maybe she didn’t do that but she sure looked disinterested those first few moments.

Everyone stood…agast…then she stood. She & Dougal made doe eyes across the crowded room. Over the foaming & dead mouth of her bloated body of a husband, a calculating Twistycone figuring out everything staring at them both…it was SO romantic!

Sarcasm_tbbt

SO MUCH SARCASM

Then…to the dual with the MacDonalds that Jamie has promised to be Dukie boys second for. It had to the be the most pathetic excuse for a dual like. Ever. Two what looked like old guys shooting blanks at each other. Then deciding to drink to it.  It was the – what comes after that make it interesting. 3 nasty little MacDonald boys with little man syndrome have to start measuring each others wieners verbally. Jamie goes and makes a bit of a mistake – throws a “Yo Mama” joke at them but TURNS his back on them. At least the wee twit who goes after him had the presence of mind to yell “Buggering Sodomite” at him before he struck. Bit redundant isn’t he?

eyeroll

buggers sodomize…sodomites bugger…yes…yes

Here we get to see Jamie’s AWESOMENESS with a sword…n…stuff. He took a beating but kept on tickin! Damn that was fun to watch! I don’t suppose Jamie will want McDonalds for a while. I felt the same after the last time I had it too. But then again, I’m a glutard.

macdonalds

That was pretty funny shit when Duke TailBetweenmyLegs Sandringham came running over telling Jamie, “Now make sure you let your wife know THIS wasn’t my fault! Here, let me take this petition and get it taken care of. Buh Bye Now!  You lay here and catch your breathe I’m going. I’m a big puss.”

Imma chickenshit

Imma chickenshit

Not that Claire cared whose fault it was. Silent treatment was given when he was being stitched up. Pretty sure she regretted that with what was to follow.

Twistylegs McTwisterson pissing all over EVERYONE! Holy CRAP…little man anger is very loud and big. No one was free of his ire. Dougal couldn’t even CRY to get sympathy…the little meany LAUGHED at him when he did. So BANISHED! He banished Dougal to his home. Go home to your dead wife. You can’t be here for your pregnant mistress cuz she is a witch & a temptress…no way you are marrying her. I will take care of that shit!  It is ABOUT TO GET REAL ‘ROUND HERE! Jamie…YOU are going too- without your wife. DON’T you talk or I will cut out that tongue you have become so good at using.

NOT the TONGUE!

NOT the TONGUE!

Seriously Twisty…that was going too far. Pulling the tongue card. How incredibly UNJUST! And for the record young Jamie…you will be BABYSITTING Dougal. You have displeased the wee king of the castle SO much by shedding McDonald blood without HIS permission, you are being punished too. WTG Jamie. So not cool.

Now, time for Jamie & Claire to say their goodbyes.  What’s the first thing Jamie says to her? STAY AWAY from Geillis Duncan because TwistyLegs plans on punishing her. STAY AWAY! BE CAREFUL. She says she will – but we know better.

She NEVER listens. Never. Never. Listens.

She NEVER listens. Never. Never. Listens.

So Jamie swallows her goodbye. *snort* Good one Dougal. Way to break up the feels. Real kneeslapper!

The tender loving moments between Jamie & Claire capture us now don’t they? *sigh* He rides off with her watching him. She tells him to come back to her “As soon as I can” he says and kisses her forhead. Collective FanSigh.

aww-gif

Next up…Tomas Tomas Tomas…sure he looks scared poopless but really kid. This woman saved your life & now you’re passing her this fake note to send her to Geillis? *sigh*

This is what our note would have said.

note

Claire confronts Geillis on poisoning F’Arthur, she is scandalized & completely out to lunch. Thinking Dougal will protect her. Yeah ummm, he’s gone. TwistyLegs, is the only one left & he kinda is the one with all the power and he wants ye burnt…like yesterdays toast.

penfield1 (1)

We interrupt this witch burning for a Canadian Heritage moment

 

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. G- know it now…You are hooped! And because Claire didn’t see our part of the note…the wardens get 2 sorceresses for the price of 1. WTG. You are going to have a fine time getting out of this one.

Then because the production is class A rubbing salt in the wound of Claire “can’t just suffer that much” Fraser. We have a lovely shot of the wee pot stirrer. Laoghaire. The person we ALL love to hate. Beautiful. Yet…she looks a wee bit different – Green about the middle somehow.

smirk

Claire sees her.  I think if she could go all hulk on those steel bars – she would.  Underestimated that one didn’t you?

See you all next time! Don’t forget EVERY Sunday we try to LIVE TWEET with our Showcase viewing. 8 pm MST. #OutlanderCAN

If you wanna play before the next blog – swing by our TWITTER. @ABOotlanders or leave a comment here. I will probably  reply. Eventually.

A bunch of us are heading down to The Expo in Calgary this week/end. It’s going to be FUN times. GRAHAM MCTAVISH people. That’s right. I will be attempting to touch him. #THUD

The end.

 

SL the ABOotiest of ABOotlanders

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